Technology and friendships

[Monkey444]

I’d like everyone to get along I think. I am always lacking good relationships.

I can’t help but being immature and childish when I get stressed, experience rejection or don’t get what I want.
How can I be my best self when I’m frustrated all hours of the day. I’m venting, don’t know if this makes any sense. I think so often that at this point I can’t even understand my thinking. Why is so much of my life so unpleasant ??

[Bubby36]

Hi there Monkey444

I honestly relate to this so much, if you're talking about the online aspect when you said 'technology' this really does relate to what has been happening for me right now. That feeling of stress and rejection for me comes from the part of me that is so scared of losing that friend, in the online world it only takes one block button for them to not exist in your life, it happened to me twice (I posted about it, one more severe then the other) and the pain you feel and stress you feel is completely valid.

What I felt in terms of getting the best out of me was to try practice mindful thinking, its hard when you start  as it requires a lot of reflection and I'm still a work in progress but if you try and think about what you can/can't control it does ease the stress a lot. For my situation, I got blocked by a friend due to their boyfriend going on her phone and feeling uncomfortable and therefore blocked me so she can't contact me, it does suck yes but I couldn't control that situation no matter what I said so it helps me a little but that pain/frustration is still there. And if you are going through any sort of relationship loss/breakdown, its useful to try take a lesson from it, positive or negative, they all help you in the future ones because if you have ever had a good connection with someone you always have the capacity to have that again with someone, I truly believe that!

Journaling for me has been helpful in pointing out what I'm grateful for in life and of my day. I too feel that my days are often sad and moody due to what's going on but being able be grateful of the little things has helped me go about my day all be it slowly and I understand it might not be for everyone.

We all deserve to have friendships that makes us feel heard and cared for and I hope you are not putting too much pressure on yourself, a good friend often comes at the most unexpected time! Its something I'm trying to learn too, the hardest part is acceptance and all I can say is that its tough to let go if someone doesn't want to continue being/becoming your friend and it loops back to what I said about being ok with stuff not in your control, as someone with anxiety issues its easier said then done but if your mind can accept that it'll be much easier to go about your day!

Hope this helps a little, believe me I understand the struggles of good relationships, the connection is the part that counts and it is hard to find that, taking as many lessons as you can and being reflective helps the stress levels go down and identify what you truly value in a friendship. Good luck and take care 🙂

[Monkey444]

Thank you for your kind response.