Suppression of POSITIVE Emotion

[Guest_31975551]

Hello, I'm wanting to talk with anyone who has/had parents who fail/failed to provide for their emotional well-being, which has resulted in the suppression of their positive emotions. An example.......sometimes I literally feel like dancing, but the combination of the fear of being laughed at, and being emotionally immature, and that it's easier to suppress it, makes it very hard to overcome. To be clear, I know the difference between depression, suppression, repression.......I'm NOT depressed, but I am suppressing. I have honestly not found anyone the same, it would be very helpful to know there IS someone else 🙂

[Earth Girl]

I can really relate to this. My family bullied me a lot growing up to the point where I gave up on a lot of things that I love for a long time because I was too afraid. Even if they weren't around... even if nobody else was even, I still felt like I couldn't do it.

I also had a lot of anger towards other people doing well in the things I wish I had the confidence to do. People say "If you just tried, you could be as good as them", but they don't understand the real reason why we don't do it, they just think we are lazy which makes it even more upsetting for us.

You're not alone. 🙂

I one day was able to find the confidence to start doing some things again like playing tennis and even doing a bit of singing and running. I hope one day soon you'll be able to find your way back to how you felt before.

[therising]

While we all have different ways of managing and making sense of the different struggles we face, I've found (when it comes to suppression) one of my key questions can be 'Okay, what part of me is champing at the bit to come to life but can't, for one reason or another?'. When I say that my parents didn't help or give me the skills in bringing certain parts of me to life, I'm not blaming them. Just finding valid reasons for why certain facets of myself aren't that easily accessible.

Just say there's a dancer in you that can't wait to come to life. You're there beside the dance floor and it's insisting 'C'mon, let's go. You can do it, just get out there. Stop thinking about it. Who gives a damn about what people think of you'. But then there's the inner critic chiming in with something along the lines of 'You're going to look like an idiot. People are going to be talking about you and how stupid you look. Do not get out there whatever you do'. Our inner critic has a great way of tapping into our fears (such as a fear of judgement). There's a good reason as to why some refer to their inner critic as one of their 'inner demons', based on the fact that it can create a kind of hell on earth at times. When we're in 2 minds about something (such as with being caught in the middle of dialogue coming from the dancer in us and the critic, for example), it can definitely be tormenting. With that 'hell on earth' factor in regard to inner dialogue, I've found another good question can be 'How to I shut the hell up (that's coming from the critic in me)?'. In other words, it can be about managing the dialogue, dialogue that can sound and feel seriously convincing at times. Personally, I was once a gal who used to drown out my inner demons with alcohol, which is something that gave me the freedom to dance. Of course, self medicating with alcohol is not good and it definitely doesn't give us any skills for life when it comes to constructively managing inner dialogue or certain parts of our self.

While it doesn't always work, I find sometimes it can be a matter of addressing the critic in me with a few home truths such as 'You are seriously depressing at times. You are more inclined to bring me down, as opposed to raising me to certain challenges or certain levels of joy. You're a pain in the a**e' etc. It's kind of like saying 'I know what you're about and I understand how you impact me, mentally and emotionally'. On the other hand, tapping into more positive or heavenly aspects of our self can involve identifying what we want to truly bring to life in our self. Addressing the dancer in us: 'You always lead me to feel good. You lead me to feel more carefree and more energetic. You have an interest in my physical fitness, my social interactions and positive emotions' and so on. And if anyone was to criticise the dancer in us, we could let the dancer speak through us perhaps with words of wisdom such as 'If you don't like my form of expression, don't observe it. Look away and focus on bringing other people down, if you insist on taking joy from people through degrading them. Now, if you want to join in, not a problem. That's a whole other story. The more dancers, the merrier'. Not easy when our parents haven't taught us how to fully channel the carefree dancer in us. A good channeling exercise can involve 'dancing like no one's watching' (on our own in the lounge room, with the music blaring). Then, after some practice, we can offer a special treat to the dancer in us, by taking them out for some fun. I know, all easier said than done. 🙂