Sons struggle

[Heavenly_Flower]

I’m not sure if this will help me but I’m going to try putting down these feelings of despair and anguish in the hopes that I may find some relief. I am in a very precarious position , one that I placed myself in as I felt I had no other option and this was the end of the line for me , the last straw. The emotional abuse turned physical 1 time then another and with that I found the strength to take myself into the courts to declare myself a mess and am applying for a restraining order against my own son . The most undignified position for me to find myself to be . In my life ,I have loved and sacrificed cared nurtured and defended my sons honour. Always making it known that I have his back and that I understand his struggles. Or at the very least an ear for him to talk to.
Then the pandemic. Not knowing where he is living if he is safe kills me a little bit everyday. The worry is always just one thought away and has the potential to spiral me down into the very depths of despair. I’m holding onto my love for my son. I pray the light of my love reaches him everyday.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Heavenly Flower,
Welcome to the Beyond Blue Forums, we're so glad to have you here 😊

Thank you for sharing your situation with us, we understand this is not an easy thing to do. We hope that writing down your thoughts has provided you with some relief and know that we are here to listen and provide as much support and conversation as you need. We're so sorry to hear of the emotional and physical abuse you've experienced by the actions of your son. We understand this puts you in a very difficult and uncertain situation but please know with the right support, things can improve. If you feel up to it, would you tell us more about your relationship with your son and maybe how or when these problems began?  We'd also encourage you to talk your experience through with our Support Service, our mental health counsellors can offer some support, information and referrals: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport or 1300 22 4636.  If you feel it might be useful, you might want to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. 
 
You might also like to reach out to our friends at Relationships Australia on 1300 364 227. Relationships Australia is a leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families and communities.  Please check back in with us whenever you feel ready.

[quirkywords]

Heavenlyflower,

welcome to the forum and well done for starting your own thread.

Sophie has given you helpful suggestion in an understanding post so I wont repeat her ideas.

want to say as a mother my heart breaks for you. I can feel the pain and love for your son in your words. You have been strong to help your son and now you are worried.

Feel free to keep posting here. I am thinking of you and hope you can contact your son soon.

Yes hold on to your love for your son.