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Buggy89
Community Member
Can anyone please help me understand what's happening to me? As of last Monday I woke up with this INSTENSE anxiety and fear that told me I need to end my long term relationship. I stopped working around 6 weeks ago by choice and I am starting a new job today but the entire time I was off my anxiety crept back in and it's to the point now where I wake up shaking. So back to my relationship. We have never had issues before. We don't have fights. It's always been very relaxed and then BOOM my mind is telling me I need to leave and it's making me feel very distressed. I know my anxiety issues have made him develop his own anxiety lately because he's always worried about me and it's making him lash out and say things he doesn't mean because he's scared and frustrated. Someone help. I don't know what's happening and I'm finding it very alarming. How can I love someone with all of my heart one day and then wake up one morning riddled with anxiety and my body telling me to RUN!!!
4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Buggy, welcome

We cant diagnose and I've had anxiety for many years and havent heard of that "change of mind " symptom.

So therapy might be whete I'd go.

The consequences of your problem could ruin what seems to be a great relationship. Your partner would be terrified due mainly to you being unpredjctable. Thats no basis for a stable love life.

If you adore your partner get help in the first instance, from your GP.

Tony WK

JessF
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Hello Buggy89, it is very odd for such feelings to come completely out of nowhere. I wonder whether some more self-reflection might be helpful. For example, you say that "We have never had issues before. We don't have fights." but you also say "I know my anxiety issues have made him develop his own anxiety lately because he's always worried about me and it's making him lash out and say things he doesn't mean because he's scared and frustrated." That doesn't sound to me like everything is rosy. Where are you both at in this relationship? Are both your needs being met? When was the last time you sat down and had a chat about your goals in life and for the future? Perhaps this is where your anxiety is coming from.

Hi white knight,

Thank you. I booked in to see my psychologist earlier this morning. I haven't been in a couple of years so I'm nervous about the can of worms I'm about to open but hopefully she has some insight. I've also been talking to my partner today and there have definitely been issues over the past few weeks because of my irrational decisions. I quit my job out of no where because I wasn't happy and it stressed him out because he become the soul provider for us which was very unfair on my part. I think we can work it out. I'm definitely going to get help though and incourage him to so the same. I started my new job today though and that seems to have made us both feel a bit better. We'll see what happens. I just hate the way anxiety makes me feel. Whenever something instense or stressful is happening my body tells me to RUN. I feel a lot better now that I have people to talk to about it and who make me feel like I'm not going insane.

Hi Buggy89,

Welcome to the forums!

You're definitely not going insane, and if you are, then we'll - you're in good company!

I have experienced these sorts of feelings before. It's quite difficult!

These are the things that helped me:

1) Recognise that your mind is dealing with a lot of anxiety right now. Part of you wanting to leave maybe a defence mechanism; sometimes people want to push things away so that they don't have to deal with them. I've even had thoughts about wanting to 'run away' at times. They are just thoughts. Thoughts don't really have any power on their own.

2) If there are any issues in your relationship (what relationship doesn't?), then you can work through that together. I'm not sure how long you've been with your partner but it's important to pull and emphasise the good traits about both of you and the strength as a couple that you have to have made it this far. Be sure to try and let your partner in on what's going on for you so he can help support you in the way that you need.

3) Try to accept them without judging them. Even though you may not want to run away, hassling and judging yourself for having this thought can only make things worse. Okay, so you could run away; maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 5 years. There's no deadline. You don't need to have your things packed yet. Saying these things to yourself can sound (incredibly) silly but it can also be an effective way of calming that urgent voice in your head. Of course, if this doesn't help then that's fine too.