Some days are hard but maybe thats just life

[GraceyJ]

Today has been one of those days. A day where you are pulled in 100 different directions and feel the pressure to deliver 110% in each space. I have been going since early hours of this morning and only sat down at 11:30pm to give myself 5 minutes. In order for me to get that time today, i have sacrificed sleep. My day has been filled with work demands, home duties, making time to spend with the kids, the dog, my partner, dealing with family issues and supporting my partner and talk through his recent depression triggers. I understand that sometimes this is just life, life can just be really busy sometimes. My concern is that i have switched off my feelings in order to not feel exhausted or overwhelmed. This was a full on day and I don’t really feel anything. I am needed to be a rock and sometimes that role overtakes everything else.

[Quercus]

Hi GraceyJ and welcome,

I hope you're asleep by now or at the very least relaxing with a cuppa and your feet up.

Realistically though a busy day like yours today where you switch off to get things done is ok... On occassion. But if this is common for you or heaven forbid a taste of what your daily life is like... Then something has to give.

You don't need my permission or validation to know this but I'll give it anyway... you need and deserve time to yourself. Every. Single. Day. A child health nurse I know calls it the hour of power. An hour every day to recharge. Are you snorting and saying I'm unrealistic? I did too. But it is necessary for your own health.

There is a saying here... Secure your oxygen mask before helping others. It makes sense. You can't help anybody passed out on the floor.

So... How to make time? Firstly make a weekly schedule. In detail. What needs to be done. Then delegate. Chores can be shared even with little kids. My four year old makes his own bed (granted I've made it very easy... One quilt). Who can walk and feed the K9? What finances do you have to outsource chores? A cleaner might be too much but what about someone doing the ironing? Or mowing the lawn?

Sit your partner down and make a plan. You're a team. Somewhere in this schedule needs to be time alone for each of you and time together as a couple. It is possible. The limiting factor is usually that you feel too exhausted to want to be open to changes... Because change takes effort (and of you're like me I'd rather sleep).

Also I think making sure your partner has the right medical support in place is key. I know when I started therapy it made life easier for my husband as he no longer had to take on all of my outbursts. Has your partner got a psychologist to talk things through with?

I hope you get some rest and let us know how you are holding up.

Nat