So very very lonely

[Skary Bill]

Like most people here, I've got a bunch of things going on.. Self improvement. Managing anxiety, financial and physical limitations. But I have a problem that has been steadily forcing it's way to the top of the list. It's having a profound effect on everything else and I'm at risk of getting quite stuck on it.

Quite simply, I have no friends. Family is scattered far and wide and.. well.. Family, as in there is love there. But not mateship. I've been quite active online since I began suffering agoraphobia. But online friendships are often fleeting and lack depth. And recent changes in my accommodation options force me to move back to the bush where I don't even have a phone signal let alone internet.

While I'm a reasonably sociable person who is community spirited. I've never been particularly needy, and so I guess for a while I was happy doing my own thing. But some months ago now, I stood in my shed.. Looked at something I just made, realised I had nobody to share it with and suddenly understood just how very lonely I actually am. Since then, I've been looking. I've been challenging my agoraphobia to get out there and meet people. I've been going along to men's sheds and doing some volunteering. I've been looking around online for people near me with similar interests. And folks, I've struck out completely. Everyone I've encountered has either had a good couple of decades on me and deep into retirement. Or they are younger and wilder, and the ones around my age (early 40's) are for the most part busy with families.

So it seems I've become quite the outsider. And when I go back to the bush. I can go weeks without seeing another human. It's devastating and I can't see the way out from here. I'm thinking about saving up to buy a motorcycle that is suited to touring, locking the remnants of my life in a shipping container and hitting the road. But even then, I'm writing cheques my anxiety probably can't cash lol.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I'm staying with a relative for the weekend. Enjoying the internet. I guess I'm sharing because I just need to talk to someone. 🙂

Cheers,

Bill.

[randomxx]

Hey again Bill if you happen to drop back.

Hope your travelling ok my friend. Had a pretty funny realisation doing a quick scan of the last few posts and l was talking about my beautiful old jag right, but then l see and remembered your pretty wary of Rangers now eh .

Guess what l drive these days , yeppaaa.

So there's one for ya eh.

Don't worry though mate if l come visit you l'll park it round the corner eh, outa sight.

Anywaysss, started the new thread. It just in the depression section, strange that.  lt's just called depression, life.

Although l hope your enjoying yourself too much lately to be hangin round here right now anyway buttt, drop in if your back.

Just read your thread title , could've called mine that too actually but hey it's also inspiring too bc here you are now and so much has changed, great stuff.

Take care and enjoy.

rx

[P12]

Congratulations, Bill, on your achievement. I have been trying to make a friend for more than a decade without success. I feel dispaired because I have made a large effort but have not been successful. I am an outsider and lonely. From P12.

[randomxx]

Hit there p12.

This isn't my thread so l hope it's ok l reply to you in the meantime .

Do you have a thread somewhere ? lt's a nice place to write stuff out l find and well, it does help, me anyway. l moved to where l am near 8yrs ago and have not made even 1 friend myself either, so l can very much hear you.

Take care eh.

rx

[P12]

Hi rx,

I wish you well in your efforts to make a friend.

My main thread is at the link below. I'm not sure whether providing a link is acceptable to the forum guidelines, but I can't find a definite rule against it.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/treatments-health-professionals/difficulties-understanding-treat...