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So MUCH relationship anxiety and sabotaging love

Community Member

Hi guys,

I am at a loss at this point. I have soo much anxiety when it comes to romantic relationships. I can't handle it when things get a little serious. It feels like too much of a burden. I don't know why I can't seem to enjoy it. I will come up with any reason why the relationship can't work, become overly critical of the person and try and withdrawal. I'll get uncomfortable when they are verbally affectionate.

This anxiety is stopping be from feeling an attraction and I just shut off. I know I have a desire for a relationship but I also know I have so many issues to work on.

I'm getting to know a guy and initially I was attracted and he's great, but I just can't open up or feel excited anymore. I also can't seem to trust myself to make decisions about the relationship and am so doubtful. All I want to do is break it off!

I've started to address this issue with a psych, but I just don't know what to do.

1 Reply 1

Community Member

Hi Dana,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I was in your position some time ago where I took on too much and it is when I began to notice this feeling, this feeling I could not describe, it was anxiety and it led me to second guessing myself. Anxiety can be tough to manage but the good thing is that you are aware of what it feels like...

As you are able to identify anxiety, this already puts you in the position of power where you can choose to pause in the moment. I am able to reach a more calm state of mind simply by, pausing to breath, and really concentrate, feel your breath as you inhale and exhale for 2 to 5 mins.

Two steps:

1) Pause in the moment

2) Concentrate on breathing and feel your breath as you inhale and exhale

As I did this, I started to regain and became confident in my sense of knowing and every time, I knew something would happen, I was right. I just needed to believe in my intuition. Once again, I would pause and take 2 - 5 mins to really let this feeling of being correct sink into my body.

The more this happens, the more I am able to respond (talk and express myself calmly) as opposed to reacting (being critical)... ๐Ÿ™‚

Sounds to me like you know this guy is great and I'm happy for you - I guess your journey right now is about focusing on the good.

I can reassure you that there is a positive in your current situation. ๐Ÿ™‚

The way I see it and speaking from my own experiences, everything happens for a reason and we find ourselves in hardships, only to make us stronger.

The choice is yours - choose to be brave and it will ultimately lead to a life of empowerment where you are in control of your emotions.

I would love to read about how you progress along in your current path... ๐Ÿ™‚