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Single forever

Community Member
Hi All,

I've recently dived back into the dating world after taking a fair bit of time off to focus on myself.
I had really high unrealistic expectations and i knew that at the time, it wasn't getting me anywhere.

Now I've been talking to this one guy, all day everyday, we always seem to have something to talk about.
I'd love to meet up with him at some point but so afraid to ask him to plan something. I'm so afraid that he will see me in real life and not like what he sees. I'm so afraid of rejection it makes me sick to the stomach thinking about it.
I've had body image issues for as long as I can remember. Since I was about 11 I've been overweight/obese. This year I'm going to have weight loss surgery to help me lose the weight because its been impossible(I have health conditions making it hard to lose weight with diet and exercise).
I feel if I meet him before I have the surgery(october) he won't like me as much as if I had already had the surgery and was a little slimmer.
Have no idea what to do about this because if feel if I dont meet him soon then he will eventually move on to someone who would actually plan to meet up...

1 Reply 1

Community Member
It may seem a little cliche, but here goes.
Having had body image is rd myself I understand the the anxiety that comes with meeting anyone new let alone a potential new partner. In saying that I would never make judgement on people solely on their appearance and wouldn't expect my partner to either. If you believe he might be the kind of guy to do that then he isn't meshing with your personality anyway. I would use it too your advantage. I mean how many other significant people in your life a judgy like that? Not many I'm guessing, so keep the trend going.

That aside attraction is really heavily based on connection. Ever noticed that even if someone is text book attractive but they are a bad person then you see them as rather unattractive and the same in reverse. I reckon if you have already made the connection then the battle is half won.