Shout out to anyone else whose relationship has imploded during COVID-19 - we can do this!

[jollydolly]

Wow, the prospect of having to find places to live, sell our apartment in Sydney, and dissolve assets and agree on parenting without spending too much money we don't have is really, really daunting! I'm using humour because I'm scared shitless!

Partner won't go to counselling first, so it's straight to the dispute resolution folks for hopefully, an agreement on parenting.

I keep thinking I've cried my last tear, but then we attempt another conversation, and it all comes up again...can I possibly fast forward 12 months? Is there an app for that?

[white knight]

Hi again

Glad you’re still posting.

I went through the same process in 1996. Two young children.

Both of us couldn’t afford high solicitor bills either.

It is s tough time for all. Children are more resilient than us adults and will adapt ok.

There is damage to your self esteem coming so have a cry and move forward. I hope you both can keep your base friendship going but it takes two and my first wife didn’t have that capability

google

beyondblue topicthe best praise you’ll ever get

Repost anytime

TonyWK

[Sophie_M]

Hi jollydolly,

We're so grateful that you have reached out to our wonderful community here tonight, you've shown a lot of strength in sharing your journey with us. We're also really sorry to hear of what you're going through right now, which must be particularly tough during this pandemic. But please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 at the Beyond Blue Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service on 1800 512 348.

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it. 
 

[jollydolly]

Thank you both for your responses. I very much appreciate these forums.

[Guest909]

Hi Jollydolly

There is no "app for that"; if there was, I would have downloaded it myself.

If your partner is not will to go to counselling, I'm guessing that you are the one that wants to save the relationship. I was in the same predicament; unfortunately it takes two.

The only practical advice I can offer is to check out the "Relationships Australia" (RA) website. They are a community-based, not-for-profit Australian organisation offering counselling and "Family Dispute Resolution" services (FDR). They can help couples come up with a property agreement and a parenting plan; minimising the need for expensive lawyers. Depending on income the service fees are free to low; you will need to check.

RA also offer a counselling service, assuming you can get your partner to participate.

Here is the RA web address: https://www.relationships.org.au/

[jollydolly]

I don't want to save the relationship; I want to work through the current hostilities so that we can have a smoother separation. I've pointed out to him that we'll be in each others lives forever so we'll have to get there eventually, but he's not interested. I do understand that it's not my place to tell him when to stop being angry, but I feel like he has an obligation to at least try to work through it.

I've checked out Relationships Australia and am so grateful for all the amazing information and advice there. It's heartbreaking to contemplate not seeing my daughter 50% of the time, but I will have to be as resilient and adaptable as she will need to be.