Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Should I confront?

Community Member

So, I live with my partner and his mum and sister. My partner has just come back from a 2 week work trip. 
Ever since he got back, his mum and sister have been acting very cold towards me and not speaking to me. 
I also found out from my partner that they had messaged him in a private group chat to say they wanted to go for coffee with him to have a ‘family discussion.’ And specifically said for me not to come. 

My partner’s mum is normally really friendly with me, and has always told me I’m part of the family. So, hearing that I’m excluded from going with them for coffee over the weekend (especially since I live with all of them) has made me feel really confused and upset. 

I’m not sure if I’m being treated differently because they are jealous I have been spending more time with my partner since he got back, or what it is…..

but it’s making living there super uncomfortable for me, and I would like to know what their issue is with me. 

I also don’t respect them talking about me behind my back. If they have an issue regarding me, they should approach me, not go through my partner. 

Any advice on what to do from here would be greatly appreciated. Should I confront his mum and ask what the matter is? Not knowing what’s going on/ feeling like they don’t like me is starting to affect my mental health.

11 Replies 11

I'm really sorry they didn't even open and read the nice letter you wrote to them. I agree, this sounds like the last straw and if they want to make the relationship better, they can figure out how to do that (probably all they would have to do would be read the letter, apologize, start being nice to you again and explain what the problem was, but that will probably be too hard for them).


The only reason I can think of them acting the way they do is because they are jealous that your partner might like you more than them? Or maybe they are just being weird?


I would also talk to your partner in private and ask him what he thinks about the situation because you need to know that his on your side and has your back.


Are you able to more out at the moment?

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Bee1998~

It's very frustrating to be treated like that. Unfortunately all the effort is coming from you, when in fact it should be coming from them. I can't honestly say there is much more you can do.


I'm glad you have your grandparents to let you know you are writing and behaving reasonably and they have nothing to take offense over. Being loved is so necessary.


I would think there always has to be a limit to the amout you try, it does not sound as if anything is going to work and if you keep on trying you may lose your own self-respect. Nobody should put up with being treated as a doormat.


So what does your partner say about all this? If he has been called down for 'family conferences' he must have some idea.