Sexual Health and the Idea of Never Having a Partner

Azzdog · ‎10-07-2018

Hi everyone, I'm not sure how to put this but hopefully it will make sense.

I am a 24 year old male who currently is in therapy and sees a psychologist regularly. I have OCD, anxiety, depression, and autism, and when you put those all together, it becomes understandable why socialising is a major problem for me. One major cause of my current situation is the fact that I have never hd a girlfriend or had sex. Because we live in the digital age, it is almost impossible to avoid the fact that a lot of people are in relationships and that modern society is obsessed with the concept of sex. You would almost have to live on a deserted island in order to completely avoid all the triggers associated with it.

My cause of concern is that I have no one that I can relate to on this and that I feel like I struggle to articulate how bad it is for my mental health. My psychologist says that I am well in the normal distribution for young men but that doesn't really make me feel any better. Because I am shy, introverted, and have a lot of hobbies and interests that are not in line with contemporary society, I genuinely feel like I will never have a girlfriend, never have sex, and die alone. This fact alone has meant in the past 6 months, I have had 5 separate stints in a psychiatric ward due to concerns of my own safety. I was wondering if there are any other young men out there who feel the same way and are currently in the same boat, and if there are any young mens health groups around? I feel the latter would be important for me and reassure me that I am not the only one who feels this way.

Azzdog · ‎10-12-2018

Thanks Tim, I sent them a message so hopefully I get a reply.

Azzdog · ‎10-12-2018

Thanks Tim,

So it turns out my support is moving into a new building today and I can’t contact anyone there until Wednesday. This means there probably will be no clinical review tomorrow which means I’ll probably get no update as to when I’m meeting senior management. Christmas is around the corner so it will be closed soon. This is why I get frustrated with people. They have no idea how unbelievably frustrating and annoying this is to have been treated poorly and then continue to be treated poorly because of all these roadblocks. It is so unfair.

james1 · ‎11-12-2018

Hello Aaron,

It does sound very frustrating indeed. Even if they did have a good reason for doing so, it still makes life very tough for you.

A friend of mine who is constantly in hospital for medical issues due to hospital originally, and continually, failing her, tries to manage the unfairness of her situation by doing things that she does have control over. Unfortunately because of her many physical conditions, the only things she can manage are a quick run in the morning and studying part time. The rest of her day is spent in bed. It's super sad because she doesn't have much social contact with people, but nor can she manage any more either (too tired/sick/in hospital). It's a terrible situation with seemingly little to look forward to in life, and it sounds like you feel quite similarly.

it sounds like you have a whole bunch of things lined up. Good on you for reaching out like that. I hope they are helpful for you, and maybe they are also things that you can control without needing to rely on others to uphold their end of a bargain.

Azzdog · ‎11-12-2018

So I got an update. They may contact me in the next few days... or next week.

I don’t feel like I have a future as such. Like you have better odds at Julius Caesar returning from the grave than I do at having a girlfriend.

It sucks

Doolhof · ‎12-12-2018

Hi Azzdog and All,

It has been great to see you out and about in the BB Café. I have learnt so much about music and been reminded of some great groups and songs!

My memory is not always that good, so I am amazed when people can remember which bands sang which songs! I have trouble remembering movie titles too!

I might put some rock and roll on later while I clean the house!

Cheers from Dools

Azzdog · ‎12-12-2018

I just got an update, they won't see me until the new year.

I feel like no one gives a damn about me.

I have real concerns about the service and yet I am treated like crap.

This is why I will never have a girlfriend. Because whenever I stand up for myself, this happens. I get knocked back down and told to "KNOW YOUR PLACE YOU MORON".

I am sick with anger right now.

Doolhof · ‎12-12-2018

Hi Azzdog,

I am not sure what you are referring to here, but it certainly sounds like something has backfired for you and has made you really angry.

Is there some way you can channel that anger? Can you turn it into lyrics for a song or a poem or clean your room or do something else physical?

It is really easy to lump everything together. One thing does not go to plan so we believe the whole world has gone down the gurgler.

Hopefully you can find a way to differentiate your issues.

Getting closer to the end of the year it is not always easy to sort some things out either or to start something new.

Cheers from Dools

Azzdog · ‎12-12-2018

It is getting a resolution from the youth mental health service I used to go to. I am outraged by it because it has been going on for almost a year now and I'm still a mile away from a "potential" resolution.

I could try and write a song, right now I am just watching my sister play a video game.

I know the end of the year can be difficult but this should have been solved months ago. Seriously they don't care about my welfare at all.

james1 · ‎13-12-2018

That sounds really frustrating Aaron.

Are you up to much today which will help take your mind off things?

Doolhof · ‎13-12-2018

Hi Azzdog,

It can be very frustrating when things are not sorted and resolved. I hope you can find a way to deal with this so it doesn't keep going around in your mind.

I'm having a few issues with my employment provider. I too realise this time of year not much will be resolved and there is little I can do about it, so I have decided to try not and let it hassle me.

Easier said than done some days.

Recently I have started up a HOPE journal. Today at an Op Shop I picked up some cheap magazines. I am going to cut pictures from them to use in my journal. I might try a bit of poetry writing which is similar to song writing.

I'm looking forward to being creative with the pictures and writing.

Do you have any album covers that you really enjoy for their creativity?

Cheers from Dools