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Sex with strangers

Community Member
I don't know why, all of a sudden I have the urge to have sex with strangers. I am trying to meet with people just for sex. I don't even want a conversation sometimes. I don't even know their name and I seem to be getting worse and it's pretty quickly. Whenever I have free time, I will find someone new. I don't know why this has come about. I havnt been able to get in to see my psychologist in the last few months.  It's a bit of a drive and hard to get appointments. I don't even know if I could tell my psychologist this.  I need help but at same time, I want to continue to have sex with strange people. I just know its not right. I don't have time for a relationship and I have a young child and although I struggle to find time. If an appointment is cancelled or I suddenly have time, first thing I do is find someone. I do use protection and I am enjoying  myself.  Its just constantly on my mind and its starting to consume me
20 Replies 20

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello IBambi, wanting to have sex with a stranger eliminates any reason why you should or shouldn't have it with a partner/spouse, usually there are no questions asked or discussed and for a female to be in this position means that a lot of single men/women would probably say yes, however, when you look back at this years to come, you would wonder why you ever did this, especially when you already have a young child.

Have you thought about other ways to satisfy your sexual needs because you can never be sure what a stranger may do as you have asked them, so your safety is of prime concern.

You must also consider that if you do find someone, then the possibility of them wanting to start a relationship with you may occur.

All of this becomes very complicated and may turn out to be messy.


Life Member.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi IBambi


First of all, there is no judgemeny here whatsoever. Who you choose to have sex with, is completely your choice.

I guess my concern is that you don't know why you are doing it. My suggestion would be to go back to your psychologist and flesh this out a bit more as you have expressed concerns about why this escalating.

Being as you are one on one with these people, not knowing much about them, it could lead to a physically unsafe situation. You need to consider more than just your sexual health.

Always here if you need a chat



Community Member

Hello lbambi,

As I was reading your post ,the thought of you possibly being addicted came to me.


It may sound weird but if you think about addiction to things such as gambling, alcohol, drugs, excessive shopping, internet gaming and food. Well some of us get a high from these. I do with food and shopping. The release of dopamine in the brain from doing these things that bring some kind of happy, excitement, nice feelings or as a way to escape from unpleasant things and emotions in our lives. 

If you want to look further look up Dr Doug Lisle he works as a psychologist in US. He has written a book called the Pleasure Trap which talks more about addictions including sex type ones. You can find him on ytube as well, including TED talks.


Maybe this would help you .

Community Member

I think like every thing else in life, moderation is better.

Perhaps you need to cultivate other interesting activities to give you more balance to your life. 

Perhaps when you find someone you really like, you could then have a regular partner without too much commitment.

Hi Geoff.  Sorry I never seen this reply. Yes this did happen and although I did say to this person I didn't want a relationship and that person agreed with me but they kinda fell for me and I stopped seeing them and they haven't been able to accept it's over.  I have found someone I like but typical, he belongs to someone else lol

Thanks J.  I have considered my safety and haven't put myself in any unsafe situations.  I am well able for meself but haven't had to be

I will look into this.  I do agree it's possible

Yea I kind of have found a regular partner but this person is married.  I like this idea because this person won't get attached to me and just wants the same as me

You may well have found the answer.

Stick to the agreed rules and be discreet.