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Seperation grief

Community Member


My ex girlfriend (I'm female, not that it makes a difference, but she was the first girl I'd ever loved after being in not so great relationships with men) left me over a year ago, because she was struggling with depression along with being in early recovery from substance abuse and couldn't handle being in a relationship at that time. I've checked in with her every now and then throughout the year to see how she is going, but I haven't spoken to her since last Christmas. She was pretty much my soulmate and I loved her more than I've loved anyone. I feel I'm still grieving our separation. I've not really spoken about this to family, only some friends. Most days I'm fine, but every now and then I still cry about it. Being single isn't an issue for me and in fact, I've learnt a lot from staying single, but some days I struggle because I miss her. I still hold love for her and I probably will for a long time. This doesn't mean I won't ever move on, it just means she meant a lot to me and the love doesn't go away just because we aren't together. I guess I just want to know if anyone has experienced something similar, because some days I feel like I'm going crazy.

Thank you for taking the time to read. Any response is much appreciate.

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Littlebluescent

Welcome to the forums, we appreciate you posting. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this time of loss and yearning.

Please know you aren't alone, lots of people experience feelings of being heartbroken or missing their ex longer than they feel they "should." The nest thing to do is just acknowledge these feelings as they are; don't spend energy trying to repress or "rushing" them so you can move on and be without the pain. Instead, use your energy to examine these feelings and become self-aware and learn things about yourself and what you bring to relationships. What can you learn from your time with her? What did you help her with? What is something that you admired in the relationship that you'd like to take moving forward?

Secondly, would you consider reaching out to a trusted person in your life? Sharing the emotional load may help too. This thread is here too.

Let us know how you go,