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Separated from my wife

Community Member
I have been separated from my wife for 5 months. I am devastated. We have 2 teenage children together. We were married for 11.5 years but together for 23 years. We had the usual ups and downs an arguments to me that was a normal marriage. This weekend is our 12 wedding anniversary. I am not coping at all. I talked to her 3 weeks ago that I would love to try again and she said that all we could be was good friends. She explained to me that we just grew apart and our marriage become stagnant. I went to counselling and I believe I am a better person. My youngest (15) is not coping at all. Like me he wants it to be worked out. I see my kids every weekend and when me and her are together we get on fine like nothing has happened. This week has been hard as she told me that she has submitted the legal separation papers. I have had 2 break downs at work and my boss who is also a friend has had a talk with me and given me some time off just to relax and find myself. I love her with all my heart and always will. She is my world and my first love. I cannot imagine my life without her by my side. Only a few people know about our separation. Everyday I cry and think about what have could of been. I cannot get her out of my mind. I know I’m not in a good place but my feelings for her will never change. Both of us have no intention of meeting anyone to start dating. I know life must go on and I have to respect her decision but how can you when you know the marriage could have been fixed. She is my world my rock and my best friend. I just can’t let go.
22 Replies 22

Sorry, let me just add something.

Don't be afraid to tell as many people as you want. Don't be embarrassed. Don't hide it in a hope that it will all go away.

When I separated I was so embarrassed to tell my friends. I wanted to keep it a secret.

But when I finally did, it was the best thing I ever did. Having them just listen, and support me. There is nothing better.

Tell who you need to tell to help you through, and don't be ashamed about it. It is about your health.

Thank you Tony. Your words of support mean a lot to me.

Community Member
So just touching base. So over the last few weeks me and my wife have been getting on very well. I have been asked to stay for dinners. Watched movies together and just last week we followed our dream and bought motorcycles. She has been a lot more open with me and she seems to been enjoy my company. Even to the point I took my eldest son to work and went for a drive for a few hours and she texted me asking where I was. My boys are loving seeing as get along. My questions is what are the signs that maybe she is regretting her decision and maybe getting her feelings towards me back again. I don’t to rush in to things but I really don’t know how to attack this