Relationship break up , 5 yrs , 59 , feels hopeless.

[randomxx]

Hi to anyone that might drop in , it's rx here l just had to rejoin.

A few might remember my ongoing thread about gf and her situation, us and the rest. Sadly though, we've broken up after all that.

l'm 59 now, just feels hopeless. lt's not that l don't get interest it's just the thought of starting over sometime later on down the track now, again, meeting that right person, it's about that person, not any interest or 2 dozen others, it's that one that feels so hopeless and if even ever at all will probably be yrs away from now, and l'll feel like it even less.

Ya just can't help thinking about it even though it's of course not the time right now for sure, know that.

As in my other thread, we were up and down , she had huge problems when we met, visas' and court cases and mh and health, she was all over the place. That's why l held back with her and us, 5 yrs but l still supported her with all l had right through it all though. All that had finally finished 3yrs in but she was still all over the place, l felt l could never trust it or her true self.

Together she was loving and supportive and affectionate and just a real partner tbh . But we were still long distance again due to her situation and so whenever she was home again or l wasn't up at hers, she'd just change again.

She'd be all negative and her health would go to shit again, talking bad stuff about us, saying she was too sick now to have a relationship, must've went through all that 20 times with her in 5yrs.

Truth was together, she was not only just beautiful mostly , but also fitter than any girl her age l ever knew soon as she was back up home alone though it'd all just start again.

There's no talking or reasoning, even though she use to preach positivity herself, the negativity just pours out all over again, even if we'd just had a beautiful 3 or 4wks together.

Dealing with that 5yrs plus all her earlier dramas , l just couldn't trust anything to do with us, but l hoped in time or once we were together full time, that'd all just go as it was when we were together. But then l'd think how would l know that was real just bc we were together properly at last, if she was going home again she'd just blurt out all the same old stuff.

Anyway, it started again after our last visit, her health her stress , she can't be in a relationship, l've had enough.

ldk, l was divorced 10yrs ago, laid low 5yrs, but she was the only one l'd met that just fitted, but then there was the rest of it. l could see a life with her though if it all sorted out and so l persisted.

l knew it was a gamble though, damn it.

rx

[CMF]

Hey rx

No I'm not worried about time going by & not making a decision. No expectations here.

[randomxx]

Hey cm.

l worry about more yrs drifting by while still in the middle not in but not out not moving on , l want one or the other.

[Carus]

Heh....Now you're sending poems to her.....You need to get some Corey Wayne in your veins asap my friend 🙂

I could tell you why I wouldn't have done that but why do YOU say you're worried....?

Fair that you say you're worried about years drifting by while you're in the limbo. You can't force a relationship yet you're not strong enough to walk away.....Just continue doing you and hopefully the bind will continue to unwind a little.....

Got lawyers involved over here now sigh* I didn't want it to come to that but I will not stand by whilst she throws threats at me and my GF*

[randomxx]

Ahh , man , last thing l'm interested in is any of that snake oil stuff.

l don't think you get why it's a hard decision and l've done the hardest of all before believe me, harder than you and ex w.

Lawyers though eh, oh no , l do not like those guys especially in something like that. Just remember to watch every word they put down like a hawk.

The poem , nah as l said it wasn't that sort of thing , it was just something l'd like her to know whether l'm still on the scene or not. l just knew she wouldn't be able to translate it that's all.

Good luck anyway , don't envy you my friend.

rx

[randomxx]

ps, actually l forgot too btw man, but how about your gf just changes her ph number and emails ?

l know this is still a pain in the arse but it's a lot cheaper and easier than lawyers.

Although they're probably cheap as chips where you are anyway soo.

[Carus]

Thanks Random.....

I didn't want it to come to this but she's turned to making extreme threats now so she has forced my hand. I don't want to just stand by and take any chances and just hope that things will be ok....and being in a foreign country, my best option is to hire a lawyer. Things work verrrry differently here to Australia....

An angry ex is still an angry ex though.....sigh*

It's horrible and stressful but I don't envy your limbo either. I like to have direction and ducks in a row...that kind of thing 😇

[Carus]

Oh forgot...GF said why should she have to change her number? I need to sort out the problem with my exwife.... and you know, she's right.....

She has blocked her now though....*

[Carus]

PPPPPS (wish we could edit posts here!) - Reasons for hiring a lawyer is because I am/was scared for my safety and GFs safety too and to start the process of divorce now sooner than later because that will protect me from some of the threats she is making....I've also had a word with the villa security here....

Sorry, I don't want to hijack your thread but thanks for asking/caring 🙏🕉

[randomxx]

No no not at all carus go for it and l know what a pain the edit thing can be.

But ah right see wHat you mean and l suppose gf's point of view, fair enough.

Wouldn't of expected this from your w though she sounded like a gentle soul from the little l knew but when such hurt turns into anger you just never do know do ya, sad though.

So yeah l can well understand your worries then and with the different culture and country on top of it. Coincidently my brothers w is Indonesian actually and they're back and forth a lot but we've had many a talk and beers over the yrs.

lt is very sad and upsetting, taxing, though l know , tares at the heart, really sorry it's come to this for all. Hope she can come to terms with things in time wear herself out and settle down eh, and that you can get things feeling covered there just encase .

My end here , thanks for that , feeling the limbo coming to a conclusion though soooo, we see. 

You take care of things and yourself to eh.

rx

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[CMF]

Hey rx 

I think the distance makes it so much harder. If you didn't have to travel so far you could easily step back a bit, be more casual & see where it goes but thr demographics make it so much more challenging.