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Projecting my concerns and fears on to boyfriend

Community Member
Hi everyone,

I've been posting mainly in the anxiety forum so you may know me from there. I'm really struggling with my anxiety and I'm concerned about my relationship with my partner. As I know he is not able to help me as much as we'd both like and right now my mum is my main support.

Logically I know I'm projecting my concerns and fears about our relationship into him but I get really freaked that he's going to become resentful or angry with me.

Both he and my mum keep telling me that he will get support when he needs it. But I get so concerned and I think when m I get anxious about it and project onto to him it makes our relationship more difficult.

Is anyone able to give me any advice or suggestions onto how to ease the situation for both of us.

Thanks for reading,

3 Replies 3

Community Member
Sounds like you suffer fear of abandonment

The book love me, dont leave me is a good insight into why you feel the way you do

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi YP,

Im glad you continue to post as you need to.

Those people without mental disorders usually cannot support those with them to a large degree. If it isnt in their capacity how can they.

The reasons they cannot help us is made clear in the first page of this thread, use google

Beyondblue Topic they just wont understand, why?

Most if us would love it if our partners would be ultra supportive but they are not therapists and not our parents that are older and more patient not to mention- think like us.

Anxiety is a setious confition often underestimated. It needs short medium and long term strategies to overcome in professional help and personal commitment. The latter can be found on the first page of this thread use google

Beyondblue Topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Get into routine with the exercises mentioned there, seek regular GP visits etc. Stick to it.

But it is also fair to expect some partner support without guilt.

Beyondblue Topic worry worry worry

Beyondblue Topic guilt the tormentor

I hope they help. Please keep in touch.


Hi Tony,

I am aware that he does what he can. And he's learning pretty quick. I think I just get paranoid and I want him to be able to support me and not feel burdened but he has a 'water off a ducks back' mentality so of course sometimes it can take him a while to process that hes upset about something.

Thanks for your response it is helpful and I'll look into those links if I can build up the motivation