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problem with marriage

Community Member

I'm 45 and my wife is 41, we've married since 2018.


My wife lost one of her ovary during surgical complication and she had another surgery on her other ovary hence there's little left. Based on the above issues she no longer interest with sex and I understand.


We tried IVF (only her family know about it, I cannot discuss to anyone but my boss as my wife believe my parents will tell everyone) and finally succeeded two years ago, we love our daughter but I was overwhelmed with chores (some of her demands can be tedious, laborious and illogical but I still have to do it), feeling undervalue as I no longer believe I mean much to my wife and frustrated when my daughter cried for mommy ever I'm next to her. She wanted to go for another IVF but her age making it ever more difficult (even the IVF specialist believed the previous one to be a miracle), I supported her decision as I won't deny her right, however I worry and fear for a few years of fruitless journey.


I'm getting more frustrated with the lack of sex life recently and she finally agreed on Sunday night, the entire experience was dreadful, turning her back on me and playing with cell phone, showing me videos of a jealous husband toward his daughter and laughed (I do not found it funny), and I still remembered looking at her disgusting dark blue sweater. The event felt like I'm dying on thirst and begged her for water, she poured the water on the floor and I licked the floor as I'm dying on thirst.


I'm currently experiencing signs of depressions (I had depression since high school hence "hello darkness my old friend, I come to visit you again") including shutting myself to her (I no longer want to look and talk to her since Sunday, she didn't understand why and I can't be bothered to explain to her as I already know the outcome), lack of energy and motivation (tired), don't want to leave the bed but have to as my office is my last sanctuary (I don't want to know what's my plan on weekend) with minor tears (my previous depression involved uncontrol crying for every 4 hours and I certainly don't want to happen again). 





1 Reply 1

Community Member



I know the feeling of a daughter wanting for her mum when right beside her. I think it is actually very common. I can let you know that as she grows she will find more interest to do things with you. My daughter now loves to read me books each night, its a small thing but truly makes my day.


As for the relationship stuff, please reach out to someone for help. Whether that it is yourself or better yet the both of you. I have hear positive things about Relationships Australia.