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Please help
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Good Morning Guest and Welcome to the BB Forums
The 'warm fuzzies' in a relationship are wonderful when a relationship starts and the last a while. Love doesnt disappear over night which you know Guest. Your partner becoming sensitive and negative are classic signs of stress...How is his work going?
I do know it may sound cliched but all good things do takes time (and effort) I think the Valentine's day card was wonderful. You do care a great for your partner Guest. It may be an idea to cruise a bit here and see how he goes...'Haste Makes Waste'....You have everything to gain and nothing to lose here. If you still find yourself stuck maybe a relationship counsellor would be another alternative...It would be interesting if your partner agreed to go with you. If he wants you he will jump at the idea!
Thankyou for having the courage to post. If you wish to get back to us that would be great Guest.
Kind Thoughts
Paul
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Dear Chrissy
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry you are feeling upset about your romance. It's always hard when things go wrong and you feel as though you have been left dangling. I must agree with Pipsy that your BF appears to need a great deal of reassurance. This is not as easy to manage as it seems. After all do you want to spend the rest of your life propping up someone who is so very insecure?
As Pipsy has commented, what do you know about his family and his interactions with his family. Having had my own marriage and watched the various romances of my daughters I think it is important to consider what you want out of this relationship. Do you want an equal partnership where each person respects the views of the other, or are you prepared to give way all the time?
I have to say he sounds like a very controlling person. Often in this kind of situation, one person will be constantly getting 'upset' over trivial matters in order to keep the other person off balance and always apologetic. This is not respecting the other. Saying he feels put down is another way of control.
Yes we do say the wrong thing at times, but people who truly care for each other accept this and move on. The person who walks out and refuses to speak for four days or more is playing games in my opinion. Love and partnership is about mutual respect and the desire to be with the other. It is not about getting upset, especially over trivialities, and walking away.
So maybe it's time for you to consider what you want. A partner who always needs reassurance and comfort and sulks if he does not get this, or the possibility of living alone. A tough choice perhaps, but one that has potentially serious consequences.
Ending a romance is hard. We all want someone to care about us, and share our lives. But sadly this does not always happen. If you continue to be your own person, do you think your BF will be happy? Will he leave? Will he become abusive?
I'm sorry if I am distressing you. I have seen many marriages/partnerships succeed fantastically and those that have been disastrous. I want you to take a hard look at what has been happening and then if you are happy, contact him and get him to return.
Another suggestion is go and talk to a counsellor from Relationships Australia. Go on your own and see what the counsellor has to say. Ask your BF to go. I think he will refuse and that may determine your answer. You have had three different answers. It's up to you now.
Mary
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