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Phone tracking after DV

Community Member

Does anyone have any experience or knowledge about ways to find out if your phone is being tracked?

My (ex) partner and I separated in January for DFV issues and we were forced to stay separated because of child protection being involved. We have bought a house together and move in in a couple of weeks so are now trying to work things out. He’s slipped up a few times now and has gone back to old ways and when I tell one of my support services they say it’s a big deal and very concerning and report him. I keep telling them they’re wrong about him and denying the abuse but today I spoke to one of my support workers for the first time in a few weeks and she said there was a strange noise when I answered my phone, so hung up and called again and it happened again so she said she was feeling concerned that he was tracking my phone. I acted all blasé about it but when I got home I searched my phone and found that I had a laptop linked into my Apple ID account. I don’t have a laptop, he bought one after our separation and uses it a lot. Any knowledge about this kind of stuff would be appreciated. I don’t want to be paranoid about it but I have had a few notifications for password breaches and unsuccessful login attempts for social media so now I’m started to feel worried.

5 Replies 5

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion


I was involved with investigations and listening devices when I was employed (now retired).

It is illegal to install any listening device without the person knowing its there. In terms of "tracking" your phone I'm not certain about that but if it is linked to a device like a computer that doesnt seem illegal to me.

To counter this it is a simple task- change your phone number, make it silent and dont give it out.

It is not worth the bother of reporting the issue to police.

I hope this helps.


Hi tonyWK,

im not wanting to report him to the police or anything but since my support worker said it I’m starting to feel a bit paranoid about it. I email my psychologist in much detail about his abuse and I text a very close friend daily about him and things he’s done so now I’m freaking out that he can access those things? I’ve changed all of my passwords and disconnected the device from my Apple account but I was wondering if there was a way you can tell if someone’s hacked into your phone?

Community Member

Don't know anything about tracking but there's most likely a good free program you could install to check and clean your phone , find anything suss and kill it off block it or delete it. There's a million programs out there for cleaning and scanning computers and phones.

Do a search and read the reviews of anything you find that looks good for your phone, you'll find something for sure. l actually need to do the same with my ph some weird things have been happening , l know there's something on it.

Good luck. rx

Good advice R abandon.

You can also contact your telephone provider. They would know.


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Dear Anzee

I'm so glad to see you're still posting here 🙂

The thing about DV is that many things are difficult to pinpoint, esp when you've been in the r/ship a long time - something like the "how to boil a frog syndrome".

Phone and all device tracking are par for the course, sadly.
I had to get an entirely new phone with a new phone number (all my laptops were infected also).

If the phone account is under his name, there is very little you can do about the abuser's control over "your" phone when it comes to help from phone providers (we found out the hard way there too when it came to my eldest d's situation - I got her a new phone & number under my name to stop this).

You CAN take it to a phone shop and ask them to check it thoroughly.

Also the FB Group I told you about ages ago called The Red Heart Foundation can support you with this too. There are LOTS of techno whizzes in that group that help women with this problem all the time. As they helped me for years.

Best wishes,
Love EMxxxx