Hi all, I’m returning to my post almost 4 years later in hope that this update will help someone in a similar situation. There isn’t much open conversations about the impact gambling has on people and their families, and it’s such a big problem especially here in Australia.
When making the original post, deep down I already knew things were bad but was hopeful that I got it all wrong, that there is another explanation. That moment was the beginning of the most difficult time in my life. The betrayal of his lies, loss of any relationship safety and other factors have caused me to experience my first depression in life. Prior to this, I’ve never had any mental health issues. My depression was severe, I had to get assistance from multiple therapist to process my pain, I was literally unable to speak and in full panic mode the moment someone asked me anything about this topic. What hurts the most is a thought that someone you truly love and give all your trust was taking advantage of it. I also had a strong sense of unfairness, as it seemed like I was the person that struggled the most across all family/friends. I isolated myself from any friends and family as I was full of shame that I was no longer looking after myself. My eating disorder came back, it was my only way of coping and going through just one more day. It was a horrible, horrible time and I don’t wish it upon anybody. If you think that it’s extreme just because a partner was gambling, it only shows how much trust, hope and safety I found in this person just for them to betray me and the relationship.
It took me about 2-3 years to fully process, heal and move on with my life. I’m now back to my happy self and I can openly talk about what happened, I completed my therapy and no longer struggle with mental health/depression.
The good lesson from this is that I am a much stronger individual. If something similar ever happens to me, I will never let it crush me so severely. One bad outcome I cannot get rid of is that I trust people less.
If you’re going through something similar with your partner, I want you to prioritise yourself first. Do not focus so much on helping them that you end up struggling more and more. Healing takes time and I promise things will get better.
I truly hope this message will help at least one person. I wish I found a post like this when I was struggling.
