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Partner has feelings for somebody else

Community Member

So recently my long term partner has come out and said they have feelings for somebody else. We are in a relationship over ten years. This other person has been in our life sexually a few times (open relationship) in the past but that fizzled out and the past few months my partner and them have formed a new friendship, which I am totally fine it. It looks like it became an infatuation somewhat as they wanted to spend more time together and growing the friendship side of things etc.

Partner has since told this person that the feelings were growing and that they need to cease communication with each other. Other person has said they have feelings too but don't really want to come between us. Partner has been feeling really low since then and said they now have a broken heart and it needs to mend etc.

Nobody is at fault here as feelings cannot be controlled and I don't blame anybody for what happened. I am just finding it a little difficult to process with reason and logic that a heart is broken after a few months. Is this something between them or is it just a new friendship?

Any advice or thoughts?

I am feeling like we are at a crossroads and I do not want to cloud any decision making by anybody by offering deep insights or getting angry, sad, etc.

My thoughts are clear enough considering what is going on but I just dont know how to support my partner and proceed through this.

10 Replies 10

Yeah I understand. We messaged yesterday and were asking if each other is okay etc. Then he said will call in for a cuppa? I was like WTF? No. Its way too soon for this shit. He is feeling angry and I am highly emotive.

Just so many mixed messages. I dont think he knows what he wants or how he feels. Its one thing one minute, then a contradicting feeling the next. I am just going to concentrate on myself with ocean swims, fitness and a project I have been procrastinating on for a year.

He has asked for space so I love him and ultimately I want him to be happy too so that's what I will give him. Will do the weekly meet ups and communicate frequently and see how it goes.

4 - 6 months is my limit.

Thanks to everyone for their support on here. Great place to vent and release some steam, emotions and tears. 🙂