Hi Dani
I am yet to meet someone in a depression who didn't ask the question 'How did it all go so wrong?' Of course, with questioning, analysis begins in one form or another. Often, the people closest can cop much of the blame; there can be some resentment toward who we perceive as being 'our rescuer' (from depression), especially when our rescuer is not doing their job. In truth, although no one external can rescue us, they can guide us in a variety of positive ways. To put it simply, when the battle is internal, our guides can only act as battle strategists - they can't fight the battle for us.
You don't have to be a huggy kissy person to express love and support. I'm a rather non-demonstrative person myself when it comes to the affection side of things, yet I'm very loving and supportive when it comes to investing myself in the lives of others. We all demonstrate love in different ways. Although not always thrilled about it, my husband accepts my nature which is admirable seeing he is a very huggy kissy sort of guy. The reason for me mentioning this is based on my husband being a happy content man, despite the limited affection. In other words, it's not a lack of hugs and kisses the brings about depression in someone's life, it's the lack of self-worth. So, I ask why it is your husband may be feeling worthless. Are there a variety of issues in his life which leave him feeling worthless?
Lastly, depression/internal battle is expressed in a number or ways - anger, control issues, lethargy, disconnectedness (from life and people), mood swings, periods of sadness, despair, self-hatred, frustration, an inability to feel gratitude and the list goes on and on. When the chemistry in our head is doing its torturous thing, it can all seem a little out of control or a lot. Seeking help from someone who understands the chemistry is the most productive strategy within such a battle.
Take care of yourself Dani and try not to take your partner's internal battle personally
