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Not sure what to do

Community Member

Hi there, I have been struggling some time now with my own thoughts and self negative thinking. I think for a while I kept putting it off thinking it was just a bad day, however more recently it’s become aparent to me that through mediation I was feeling better. So now when I feel like how I felt before starting mediation I realise just how down and anxious I felt. I know this is now affecting my relationship with my fiancée and I want to get help. I just don’t know how or what to do any help or advice would be great. 

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello 4300 & welcome to the forums

It's great to see you have become aware of your ways of thinking, the pattern & how you feel about yourself, & that you want to do something to change. That's an important step.

From here you could think about talking to someone, such as a counsellor, or a therapist such as a psychologist or psychiatrist about these thoughts & feelings. Usually the next step would be to see your GP, to have a talk with them & ask their advice or maybe for a referral to talk to someone who can help more than a GP.

You may also like to talk to BB's own counselling service, on: 1300 224 636, or find the link to chat online, at the end of this page.

& you are welcome to continue to talk here.

When it comes to the negative thoughts & feelings about yourself, one thing I know can help is to challenge these thoughts & feelings, test them to see if ther is any evidence that you are so (whatever it is). Refute the thoughts & feelings, too.

For example: like all humans, you are not perfect, so you will make mistakes. Making a mistake only means you are human, nothing else.

I've been learning others opinion of me are just that. I can think what I want about myself without their opinions. I've pretty much left those opinions behind.

& thoughts are thoughts, feelings are feelings. Learning to not add judgemental adjectives to the thoughts & feelings is hard, but worth the effort. I can recognise when my mood is low, & not hav my mind pester me with ideas that I have no right to feel so low when there are so many people worse off than me...  that' comparison is not helpful. In fact it may laed me to feeling disappointed & ashamed of myself for feeling low.

I hope you can see what I'm trying to say.

Are you able to talk about how your thoughts & feelings with your fiance? Even in close relationships it's not easy to know what is going on in another's mind. What do you think both of you could do to help keep your relationship steady? 






Community Champion
Community Champion

hello and welcome.


I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling with negative thoughts and self-critical thinking. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge your feelings and reach out for help. It's also good that you've found meditation to be helpful.


When your mood dips and anxiety creeps in, it can be quite overwhelming and impact various aspects of your life, including your relationship with your fiancée. It's understandable that you want to address these challenges and find ways to improve your well-being. Seeking help from a professional is a great step forward, and there are several options available to you. Finding the right help may require some trial and error. If one approach doesn't work for you, don't be discouraged. There are various resources available, and it may take time to find what resonates with you personally.


Additionally, opening up to your fiancée about what you're going through may strengthen your relationship - if you feel up to it. Sharing your feelings and seeking understanding and support from your partner can foster greater connection and empathy.


Hope some of this help.