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Not connecting with my partners family

Community Member

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half, and we're starting to look into renting a place together.

He has a really close family that all live an hour away and he goes up to visit them a lot and always overnight. Every time I go with him I dont feel like I fit in. His sisters are all older and talk a lot about their kids and jobs and people from around the town that I don't know, so I tend to sit back quietly most of the time.

Recently his parents decided they're going to pay for the whole family to go on a holiday for his dad's birthday next year, but I didn't get an invite. "Married partners only" apparently

I dont want a free trip I would be happy to pay, but it really hurts knowing that Im still not considered part of the family. To make it worse by that point we'll have been together over 2 years and will be living together, so I'll just be left alone at home for the week while he goes on holiday. And a few months ago my parents organised a family trip that he came to. I would have stuck up for him had he not been invited, but he wouldn't do the same for me.

I'm starting to question what hope or relationship has when he's so close to a family that I just don't fit in with.

11 Replies 11

Hi Elliemaybe,

Welcome back! Congratulations on sharing a place with your partner, for getting a dog and for realising that you can have a life and be yourself despite the relationship with your in-laws.

Hope you can continue on with your relationships, determine what you want out of life and see where the journey leads you.

All the best from Dools

Community Member
Good on you Ellie and congratulations on your success with your partner home ect. Your doing the bigger thing and that's what actually matters!