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Living in remote community isolation, can't make friends, while managing a rocky long distance relationship

Community Member
Hi guys. 3 months ago I moved out to a island and into remote community of no more than 1,000 people for a particular job. This particular job I did 4 years ago in the same location but for a different operator. I ended up leaving that job after suffering depression and PTSD from my employer from verbal abuse. My long term relationship of 4 years suffered during the time I was away and that fact he was too settled in his own location and made all the excuses to ever leave to be with me. So I took a 3 year break from this job and did other jobs in the meantime, until I was suffering depression again because as hard as it was before, I wanted back into this job and career. I've always struggled to make friends as I feel my personality is very different from most people due to the wide range of jobs I've done over the years compared to people from my home town. 3 months into this new location and I'm still yet to make a single friend. I'm not friends with people in the same job area as most are just in it for themselves and all they do is rant about work in spare time, I'm not one to make a crappy situation crappier by ranting. My own colleague and I don't get along as I argue the point of what is safe and what is not when she deems it to be perfectly safe/questionable. My current relationships (12 months) has been so much better than the last one as he also works in the same industry but he lives at least 5.5 hours away by aircraft. He has unfortunately had his mother (with extreme paranoia) living with him for 4 years while he was single, and after her constantly putting her son down and treating me like vermin (she's Asian, I'm Caucasian) she has driven him to the point where he wants her out of the house. The plan was to find help find her own place and move her out. Though weeks have already gone by and my bf and his mother have done nothing in their power to find a house. They're both so set in routine for so long I'm having doubts it'll change. I push for the change to happen to the point my bf tells me to back off, but I don't see it happening any other way unless (hypothetically) I get knocked up, then he has no choice. He's Mr nice guy and tries to please everyone at work and works overtime all the time. Even though I've stated he can't please everyone, and he's pushing his family away and me, I'm not sure things will get better. So I've now entered depression again crying everyday thinking, and losing trust I wont have anything to come back to.
1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

I feel for you, but I dont have much to offer.

If I was to place myself in your shoes, I think I'd move on from that relationship due mainly from its complexities. His mum, work ethic (good but too much) and distance.

With depression we should not underestimate it. We need to make wise choices.

If you break free spend some spare time and money on yourself, a resort or where there's night life.

That just my view. Also keep regular GP visits. Get that check up and discuss your depression.