No friends not close ones

Nic76nic · ‎25-04-2018

Hi First time poster

I feel as though I have no friends. I have a husband and 2 daughters who I love immensely but no close friends, dont feel like an really.

I know lots of people not just online but I dont feel close to any of them. I am always anxious worrying about whether people like me. Always thinking no one does. Probably friendships dont work considering my own with my mother is non existent. sorry feel like Im talking out of my head.

Ggrand · ‎25-04-2018

Hello Nic,

Welcome to BB Forums, you will meet a lot of kind caring and non judgmental people here who will give you care and support,

Im sorry your struggling so much with making friends..

I'm pleased that you have lots of friends but sad that you don't have some really close friends.

Is it possible that Out of the people you know now that you relate to a few of them more then others, you might be able to go to the movies or out to lunch a few days a week to get to know them better, then maybe a special bond could be made.

Do you have a local community hall that does, craft, bingo, darts, cards etc, where you live, maybe you could join in activities there and meet new people with the same interests as you have.

I feel in my opinion that we need to have normal friends first until a bond is formed by some common interests, I know it's easier said then done, but with persistence, time and energy put into knowing someone then becoming friends then a , close friendship can develop.

Please try not to let your anxiety get in the way, and I know it's hard because I struggle a lot with anxiety. you are a lovely person, and don't think any other way.

Have you thought about talking to your Gp, to let him/ her know how your feeling? Your Gp maybe can help you with some professional councilling, to help you overcome your anxiety. Your Gp may put you on a Mental Health care plan where you will get I think 12 free councilling sessions..just my thoughts.. I seeked out help from my Gp and getting councilling and it has helped me..

Please be kind and gentle with yourself..

Grandy

singing_the_blues · ‎25-04-2018

Hi nic76 they just call me blues here so well you did your first post thats a big step ,Im pretty new as well so I know its hard to know what to say ,but I feel you although our lives are completely different I feel exactly the same way and battle with A&D EVERY DAY ,i do talk with one guy on here and it helps you should write as much as you want as its cathartic in its self and you never know who you might touch Im a single guy never married ,have a child I never got the chance to know ,I am middle aged and am very worried about my future as I have no true friends left and feel ,like you ,that the limited conntact I do have with other"s is some kind of dance that we do because you need some socialisation ,and even though Ive been in this one group for several years I would not ring any of them because I dont really know them ,we do our thing and meet the next week ,its a music group we have done gigs together but we all put on our muso mask ,and just escape for a few hrs ,.My mother passed away late last year and i had not seen her for 10 yrs ,I was reunited with siblings ,who also had not seen her for that long my sister ,just by chance took care of her for a few mounths b4 she passed ,I believe whats handed down ,can define some parts of people it did me and im sure its the same for my siblings ,I do chat with my sis a bit ,they thought I may have passsed as I was so hard to find ,its funny people choose to remember what suits them at the time ,so this reunion has come with great sorrow as well

you should write as much as you want ,last night I did a open mic night singing and playing guitar but today I am as lonely as you and every one who is lonely on here ,i dont have any answers for you only that I get it how can you know these people for so long yet not know them at all ,my mother did that as well and only by luck chance after causing a lot of hurt and she was only human ,but she had a whole lot more than she realised and my sis say"s the regret she suffer'd was worse than the cancer ,so sad ,I think Im a lot like her although Im not a nasty drunk ,but i am scared of any more hurt ,the good thing for you is you have some people to love warts and all so love them you have more than it seems right now last night I was on fire on stage today I am alone and have no one to share my little wins with or my losses ,I do believe what is handed down shapes who we are always trying to change for the better goodluck k ???