Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

No Confidence with People and Very Alone

Community Member

Hello to members of this forum,


Firstly, I am sorry to hear of your problems, but reading your problems has made me feel like I am not the only anti-social weirdo in the world.  And no, that is a name for me, not for any of you.  I just meant that other people are experiencing lots of problems too, and the really hard problems seem to always involve other people.


There is a lot of very good advice on this site, but mostly it involves going out and meeting other people.  I am not at all good with people and usually avoid them where possible.  This has been quite possible for me for a long time as my husband and I have been very close, and share most interests.  This has now changed over the last six months with him joining a club and participating and socialising with these people every week.  It then turned into twice a week and I said that I felt I have been left behind and have no life.  I then started going out alone for little outings and he became envious of my outings, and then dropped his second social event each week.  But now things have returned with a vengeance.  He has told me that he wants to meet more people and become more socially active with others.  He has also suggested that I should go out and meet people, which would give me someone to talk to.  Maybe I am being a little pessimistic here, but it looks like our life together is about to change, and he wants a new life elsewhere.


This has led me to being frightened and feeling very alone.  I understand that going out and meeting people would be helpful but it is not an area that I have any confidence in, or any recent experience with (and when I say recent I mean for the last ten years).  I would very much appreciate any suggestions as to how I might get started on this problem .. baby steps please.

2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Adrienne1712,


Welcome to the forums! You're absolutely not alone in your experience and I'm glad you've found comfort in the forums. I'm also sorry to hear that you're feeling frightened and alone, we're always here at Beyond Blue if you need someone to talk to and feel supported. 


You've asked for some suggestions of baby steps and I think posting on the forum is actually an incredible first step! Additionally, have you explained your fears of meeting new people to your husband? Perhaps it's something you can do together rather than individually. That way he'll be right at your side, supporting you. Some more baby steps might be simply making small talk with a cashier or volunteering in the community. 


Hope this helps,


Thank you Beeee,


Yes, very helpful suggestions.  I have talked to my husband this morning and this is what he was actually suggesting, that we go together to get out and meet some people.  He did not put it very well at all and he acknowledges that now.  We talked it through this morning and will make it a regular conversation topic from now on.  It is nice to know that you are all here .. it gives me re-assurance that there is help available if I need it.  Thank you again.