New and need to talk/share

[CB2016]

Hi - With my family I didn't think that I would need help but I can't believe how quick and hard things can change. One daughter "wants break from family" after having an inappropriate meltdown aimed at her sister. I have not been involved but have been excluded as well - and told so in a calm and considered conversation. I am hurting so much and cannot understand how she can do this and what I have done. We 'work' together and her public show is 'normal' but there is no warmth at all and I find seeing her very difficult. I cannot talk about it to others as I hope it all goes away but the whole year has been difficult. Her sister who was her victim has tried to make contact without good response so that is hurting me too as she is having a rough time as well and needs me to be strong.

I am feeling down and questioning things in my life at the moment and I think NOT looking forward to turning 70 next year so I know this is not helping me deal with this situation. I do know it happens to lots of people but I thought my family was my world and I have worked so hard for them. I'm not the Mum who talks/sees her kids every day or so and they have been very independent so it is not smothering or interfering. Obviously feeling sorry for myself.

[blondguy]

Hello CB2016

Welcome to the forums and for having the strength to post too!

You are not feeling sorry for yourself at all CB. I am hurting a lot too with my daughter that seems 'void' of any warmth and kindness. It does hurt.

You seem to be a caring and wise person who wants the best for everyone and good on you. You are a great dad for being the way you are.

It can be a huge help having a chat to someone...we all need a support group in our lives even if its just a group of one or two. I use my GP as a support even though some people wouldnt. I always feel a bit better after seeing him

There are many very kind people here on the forums that can be here for you CB. You are more than welcome to post about anything you wish, even just a chat!

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[CB2016]

I don't know how to deal with the situation. I am tense when she is around as I cannot let her see how upset I am - she has said before that I need to toughen up and that I resort to tears. I want to have a good talk to her partner who is usually good friend of mine and I have more dealings with but he is little distant too and I don't want him to be disloyal to her as she needs him [the only one it seems]. Her sister got a group text message for her birthday today and when it was my birthday I got a Facebook happy birthday only - good for public display but not personal at all. Or should I be glad that we got that even? I suppose this can go on for years!

[blondguy]

Hi CB

Thankyou for taking the time to respond, its always nice when there is a reply.

I hear you loud and clear about being told to 'toughen up'.......that really hurts. Its like telling someone in a wheelchair to toughen up. Its more of an insult than hearing a few caring words.

Facebook is as impersonal as it seems. I think its a good way to say Happy Birthday to a person thats an acquaintance, but not to a relative or a true friend, especially her mum.....not good enough

I understand that you are crossing all the 'T's and dotting all the 'I's but the conversation you would like to have with your daughters partner may be a really good idea except for ruffling the feathers of course.

I have few freinds at 56, can I ask you if you have even a support network of one person (or two?) that you can confide in? I have about 3 people that I can confide in at 56.

you are not alone here CB

my kind thoughts

Paul