Negative thoughts about my Fiancee

[Damien2812]

Hello all

About 2 months ago I feel into negative thought patterns about my fiancee. My thoughts were- Do I want to break up?, Do I want to get married?, and Do I love her? Anyone else fell into this before marriage?

Damien2812

[Damien2812]

It's been close to 6 weeks now since I last saw and was in a relationship. I do get a little resentment but the question I ask is it normal not to get any stress or think about your ex much? I've been my normal self since the breakup could that be a sign that what made me get these negative thoughts was in fact I may have not loved her to the point of wanting to marry her?

[Damien2812]

Update. We saw each other this Thursday and we couldn't see eye to eye anymore. I didn't have the same feelings for her I once had. I still think about her but no thoughts on getting back with her. My thoughts are mainly I wish I didn't have to do this to her by breaking up and ending a marriage etc..

[geoff]

Hi Damien, perhaps if I tell you about what happened with me might clear up these thoughts you're having.

When I was married and the time I was in depression, I self-medicated with alcohol but as soon as we parted ways, the house was sold and I had to rent a house, my depression cleared up, it's not that I was blaming my wife for how I was feeling, the point being when we separated for good, all of it cleared up.

I never wanted our marriage to end but we couldn't live together, we still talk to each other, so the friendship still remains.

It sounds like you feel it's best to go your own way and if so then you need to do it, rather than argue and not agree on certain issues.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Damien2812]

Thanks for your reply Geoff

Was there a reason why you ended your marriage? I've come to conclusion that these intrusive thoughts I hand were mainly to warn me this isn't the right person for me. That's why I struggled to cope with this because I was ignoring these thoughts and thinking why I would think this way about her..

[Damien2812]

Hi everyone. Its been ages since I last posted on here and would like to update everyone on whats been happening with me. So its close to one year on and I still try to pin point where it all went wrong because I'm concerned what if these thoughts were to occur again? Anyways I have lost any interest in having another relationship down the line..

[geoff]

Hello Damien, I'm sorry I didn't get back to early, my fault and I apologise.

The reason why our marriage ended was because of me, my depression and self-medicating with alcohol, my ex lost patience.

These intrusive thoughts you have had are concerning, I've also had them but I have OCD, I can't diagnose you because I'm not qualified, maybe you enlighten me if that's alright.

I haven't been in a relationship since the divorce and like living by myself because I can do whatever I want to, although it would be great to have someone cook for me, even a piece of toast tastes so much better when it's done by another person.

Please get back to me.

Geoff.

[Damien2812]

Thats ok Geoff and sorry to hear what happened in your marriage too. I wouldn't say it's concerning since I'm happy, can concentrate like normal, and I don't get any anxiety or symptoms. I guess I'm mentally fragile now after what happened. Anyways I haven't been anxious for close to a year now.

[geoff]

Hi Damien, that's great, but just remember to look after yourself.

Geoff.

[Damien2812]

Thanks I will. What makes you feel I have ocd?