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Need hope.

Community Member
I'm 25 And I believe I'm depressed but have no one to talk to in my life about these issue. I've gotten to the point of not caring about myself anymore, everyday is a struggle to wake up and get out of bed. I have no career & finiancallg struggling, no partner (never had one), and recently told I'm infertile. I feel worthless because of this and like I don't really have a future to look forward to.
3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Allie, I had to reply back to you at this early hour because it must be so lonely, just as Xmas has come and gone, and I do feel so sorry for you.
I know at this time of the year it would be very difficult to be able to talk to anyone, but as you're struggling financially means that you are not coping, but when people always think there is no hope, there always is, it's just who to contact who know what to do.
What I would like you to do is contact a couple of places, these Reachout and/or Headspace, but I also want you to ring Anglicare, they were so good to me when I was depressed, financially hopeless and living by myself as my wife had left me, and what they did was stop all the annoying phone calls plus all the mail and organised a payment plan that suited me, not the creditors, plus they also have counsellors.
The disappointment of being told the news that you are infertile is not what anybody would be expecting, and it is very sad news, but NO, you are NOT worthless, you are still a person with feelings and perhaps in the future you might meet someone who is coming off a divorce and has 2 young children, then it would be your job to help look after them.
Let's take one step at a time, because if you cram all of these problems into one basket there never seems to be any escape, especially if you're not feeling strong, and from what you have told us this seems to be the case.
Please contact any of those places I mentioned as well as your doctor because you can't cope and have other issues adding to them.
If you like then please get back to us. Geoff.

Community Champion
Community Champion
Dear Allie9000~
I'd like to join Geoff in welcoming you here and hope you find the support and perspective you need.

Life has given you a very hard knock with that news about your fertility and it is something that for at least a while will colour all your thoughts, and that is to be expected. I'm sure you are aware it simply means one avenue of having children is less hopeful at the moment, not that the door is closed.

I'm sure that no partner is something that weighs heavily on you and no one to talk to makes you feel very alone. Both of these can trick the mind into thinking one is less attractive, or less worthwhile or some other unhelpful thing when in fact it is just circumstances.

Trying to deal with all this by yourself is terribly difficult and I have the feeling you are in the same sort of state as myself when my depression has been bad. If you have not already done so can I suggest you see your GP in a long consultation and say both how you feel and the problems you face in your life. This is over and above whatever medical contact you have had on fertility problems.

I found I simply kept getting worse and life seeming more and more impossible until I had the correct professional therapy and medication. This can seem a big step if you have not done so before but can make a huge difference.

Struggling to wake and face the day is no way to live and your life really can get better, mine did. Having a so-so job, or no job at all and money hassles are things that do change and you can deal with them, like your other problems. The first step is to gain energy, hope, and will. Then all these will seem less daunting and more fixable

You future can contain all sorts of things, and when very down as you are right now all the promise can be hidden as if it was never there. Being 25 is a good time, you are over the first silliness of youth, now have judgment and experience and are more likely to see people as they really are –which lets the hidden good in them show though.

I’m sure there have been things you enjoy, perhaps music, books, sport, pets – well you would know. Now is the time to do the ones you can afford, to take your mind out of this circle of misery for a little while, give you something to look forward to

Similarly if there are people you could be in contact with, parents, family, friends, then now is the time to establish bonds. It all helps

If overwhelmed ring our 24/7 Help Line 1300 22 4636, a human voice can be a comfort.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Allie

I join the two guys who have already welcomed you to Beyond Blue. The people here are very supportive and you can talk here without fear of others knowing who you are.

Feeling there is no future for you is sad. I know how that feels and so do the guys. It's also part of feeling depressed which leads to the unhappiness. Do you know much about depression? It's very useful to have some understanding about it. Look under the blue tag at the top of the pageThe Facts, and go from there. You can download much of the information.

While I have children, my eldest daughter found she and her husband could not have a little one. So they tried the IVF program. I know it's expensive and probably beyond your reach at the moment, but it is something to keep in mind for the future. My daughter was 40 when she had her baby so there is no need to give up all hope.

Life seems very dark without family and friends and also living on a limited budget which restricts what you can do. I agree with Croix and Geoff that getting some professional help is a good move. Anglicare, as far as I know, does not charge for their couselling service. There is also Relationship Australia which has no fees or very minimal fees. So two organisations which are within your financial reach.

I think it would be wise to see your GP as soon as possible. Ask for a long consultation as it is amazing how quickly the time goes. Your GP can make an assessment of your situation and can also refer you to an appropiate counselling service. You can go without a referral but it helps the counsellor if you have some background information for them.

Try writing about your life and what makes you so unhappy. This is so often a way to see yourself, as it were, by standing back. What was school like? May I ask if you have any family? I know you said not but I wonder if this means you have lost contact with them. It's not being nosey, it gives us an idea of where you are in your life.

You sound so very unhappy and I suspect it has been made worse by Christmas. If you do have hobbies etc that you enjoy or used to enjoy, can you find the energy to start one again. I enjoy jigsaw puzzles and reading, but I also meditate. Of course none of these may interest you, I mentioned them because of the low or no cost aspect. You can buy jigsaw puzzles cheaply in Op Shops and there is always your local library.

Please continue to talk with us.