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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Beautifulsoul75 HELP stuck between a rock and a bad place
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone im new to this site, but hoping I can get some sound guidance and support im with a man you who is right now suffering severely with anxiety and depression... he is on medication and just had his dosage increased which has caused him to f... View more

Hi everyone im new to this site, but hoping I can get some sound guidance and support im with a man you who is right now suffering severely with anxiety and depression... he is on medication and just had his dosage increased which has caused him to feel worse (part of the side effects). my problem is I’m the only one he has told how he’s feeling.... and now he has pushed me away and said he needs a week or so to sort himself out ... his family have no idea what’s going on .... to be honest I’m really scared for him. When He gets this down he sticks his head in the sand and just disappears and talks to no one ... I need to know should I be telling his family what’s going on so they can try and help or not break his trust and say nothing and let him come to me when he feels better .. I’ve been i tears all day over this ... and it’s worse as I can’t see him any advice would be greatly appreciated

Kazza13 Depressed about feelings towards husband
  • replies: 7

I have been struggling with depression for 25 years but was managing through medication for most of that. Gone down again. I have been married for 25 years but get depressed about how I feel about my husband and his looks. I know I love him and could... View more

I have been struggling with depression for 25 years but was managing through medication for most of that. Gone down again. I have been married for 25 years but get depressed about how I feel about my husband and his looks. I know I love him and couldnt imagine life without him, so why do I feel like this. Does anybody out there have the same thing, I feel like I am the only one in the whole world who feels like this.

Dee161 New To Depression
  • replies: 2

Hi Lovely ppl Well where do I start a few months ago I found out that my partner has depression. He came to me and was honest about everything we went to the doctors and he started antidepressants tablets A few weeks in everything was going great, hi... View more

Hi Lovely ppl Well where do I start a few months ago I found out that my partner has depression. He came to me and was honest about everything we went to the doctors and he started antidepressants tablets A few weeks in everything was going great, his anger towards me had seem to disappear and I felt like it was the old him, then without any word I found out that he had stopped the tablets and everything just seem to go downhill he told me he didn’t love me he didn’t want to be with myself and our daughters he was happy for me to keep the house and he would just move away. I just want to know how to deal with stuff like this I want to know if it’s really him or it’s going cold turkey on the tablets????? I’m beyond frustrated at the moment because once I found out that he had depression I was conscious of every think that I would say to him how I would act trying to be positive reassuring him that every think in the household is perfect and now after a massive few nights of just arguing he goes back to like nothing has happened like every think is perfect again . Any advice would be greatly appreciated

FragileFamily My Story
  • replies: 2

My story start around a month before our second daughters first birthday. My relationship with my partner hadn't been getting much attention due to my work and study, the two kids 3 and 1 and her study and rehearsals she was doing for 2 performances ... View more

My story start around a month before our second daughters first birthday. My relationship with my partner hadn't been getting much attention due to my work and study, the two kids 3 and 1 and her study and rehearsals she was doing for 2 performances she had coming up. The whole year was a write off really. I had made her strawberrys dipped in chocolate to surprise her when she got home. She told me the sight of what I had done made her feel sick because it was a very lovely gesture but she no longer wanted to be with me. We tried to discuss this issue and things got overheated by both of us which ended in her kicking me out of the house. I stayed away only visiting the house to see my kids and we both apologised but she was not prepared to work things out. I convinced her to let me come home and be with the kids over Xmas. We all had a great time and even went away for a holiday for a week after Xmas. Things were looking up. When we returned home I asked if I should pack up my things and move out properly but she wanted to speak with her psychologist first. I waited the 2 days as I thought she must be reconsidering and wanted to discuss it first. Once she had spoken to the psychologist she came back and said her psychologist suggests the we don't continue the relationship which I thought was a fairly odd. Nevertheless I did not fight this time I packed my things and left. At the moment I have the kids 5 days a week but she wants to see them more and contacts me almost every day, at one point to ask how I was doing with everything. She's gone from relationship to happy co-parenting over night and wants to do mediation which I have refused to do at this point because she is refusing to work on the relationship. I'm grieving the relationship, my work and social life is suffering. I want my partner and my family back together and shift our focus onto what is important but she will not partake. Only a month or two before at a wedding she has asked me when we would get married. She says she has been unhappy since before the birth of our second daughter but I don't believe it to be true. It's been found out she has extremely low iron and has for awhile. She says she needs space to find herself again and in 6 or 12 months may assess the situation if she sees positive changes I make within myself aswell. By this time I feel it will be too late to save the relationship as all the pain and adjustment will be over. thanks for reading if you got this far.

lilykitten Co-dependent Relationship help.
  • replies: 2

I'm an enabler. I cant rest until everyone around me is happy and it's very stressful. I realised recently that this was the principle cause for my panic attacks. I was 35 when I met my husband. We built a house together had a baby and he quit work t... View more

I'm an enabler. I cant rest until everyone around me is happy and it's very stressful. I realised recently that this was the principle cause for my panic attacks. I was 35 when I met my husband. We built a house together had a baby and he quit work to look after her while I kept working. He had dreams of working from home. We had a second daughter 16 months later. He often complained how difficult it was being home with the kids although he was constantly out of the house visiting friends with them. When they were toddlers he was frustrated he couldn't work on his projects so i organised family daycare 2 days a week. Then he got bigger projects and a friend offered to take them for another 2 days a week. In all this time i was working full time and paying for everything. He was having the parental payments put into his account for day to day expenses and I was also doing all the household tasks as well. When the kids had both started school I asked him to do a business plan and wanted him set a goal of 5 years and then if it wasn't working to go back to paid employment. He was heartbroken and said ultimatums were a sign I didn't believe in him. By the time my youngest was 10 years old my resentment about paying for everything and doing all the housework was extreme but I was also proud of the fact I kept everything running. Instead of getting praise for my efforts like I would if I were a single Mum with 3 kids, friends would not give me any emotional support saying I should leave. By this stage the thought of losing half of everything I paid for when I had no savings was too much so we went to counselling which helped a bit with the resentment but did little to change the situation as my husband cant see himself doing anything wrong. He works so hard, often 10 hours a day on his projects for little financial gain but feels he is doing his best and gets depressed about it. Now my youngest is 13. At the end of last year after finding I was paying almost $500 a month into his business petrol and phone bills, I said no more. He has not contributed any money to the family unit for 14 years and does not help around the house. I even do all the traditional male jobs like mowing and fixing things. Every week since then he has moaned about not having money. Today he asked me to help out with his monthly bills and I said no. IS IT POSSIBLE TO BREAK OUT OF A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT BREAKING UP? I do love him. He is also a wonderful father who doesn't drink and is a kind person. he is just blinkered when it comes to his work.

Little_lollipop Partner frustrating me with marriage
  • replies: 4

Hey everyone I am really struggling right now and could use some advice. I have been with my current partner for almost 12 years with two kids. After 5 years, he proposed but then about a month later he left me. We got back together and about a year ... View more

Hey everyone I am really struggling right now and could use some advice. I have been with my current partner for almost 12 years with two kids. After 5 years, he proposed but then about a month later he left me. We got back together and about a year after I mentioned marriage again. He promised it would be 'soon' but he still hasn't done it 6 years on. I approached him more than a few times and he always has an excuse. I love him but I feel like he will never do it. He only wants to drink and smoke on the weekend, we rarely do anything fun or go on dates so we had an argument. He just went to bed instead of resolving it. Now I'm all worked up and upset. I struggle with depression and anxiety so I'm a mess and blaming myself. I don't know what to do. Should I leave? Or wait? I'm at my wits end and a total mess over this frustration!

Toughmumma Can't catch a break
  • replies: 2

Hi, Im new to this and just needed to vent really. I'm feeling like I can't get my head completely above water. There is always something. I have gone to the gp about anxiety. She has put me into connections to talk to someone and said it is complete... View more

Hi, Im new to this and just needed to vent really. I'm feeling like I can't get my head completely above water. There is always something. I have gone to the gp about anxiety. She has put me into connections to talk to someone and said it is completely justified in what I was telling her. I have been having sleeping, health issues, I work two jobs, and raise two kids, which I think I suck at most of the time. I feel like I am always yelling and they are always yelling and no one is actually listening to each other. I feel completely ignored most of the time. I am made to feel like I am too dramatic by my husband, and fairly alone in most that I do. He goes to work, works hard, but then comes home and clocks off. I literally run the rest of our lives. The kids have molluscum which is contagious and can last for years and making me and them constantly anxious. Paranoid even.I stress about everything and now have sleeping issues that results in me running from my bed, in my sleep, to find my kids. Bizarre I know. I hurt my back right when I can't afford too. There is just no chance to just breath. So I pick up, I carry on, day by day, I have good days and try to focus on the positives in life everyday, but I am starting to see the cracks and looking at which way to turn. I can't keep all the balls in the air. And I drop them, everyone around me suffers just as much. I have been to a psychologist after my mum past and found him dreadful. I am trying again. I am trying to avoid medication, and treat the source, find management skills. Any suggestions? Councillor, psychiatrist, psychologist? Is it a case of just keep trying till you find one that works for you?

zy Feeling resentment, hurt and heartache with Siblings who take me for granted
  • replies: 2

Hi All, I need some solid advice on a situation that I feel I need to resolve or take action on to help bring much needed peace in my life. Short story is unavoidable and a string of tumultuous circumstances occurred with my step sister almost two ye... View more

Hi All, I need some solid advice on a situation that I feel I need to resolve or take action on to help bring much needed peace in my life. Short story is unavoidable and a string of tumultuous circumstances occurred with my step sister almost two years back when she lived with me, my wife and kids which eventually resulted in betrayal, broken trust, broken relationships, hurt and deep anger. What made it worse is my step-brothers did not support, help, assist nor take responsibility in assisting the situation given she is their blood relative nor providing the assistance and support to myself, leaving me to suffer alone in the wake of the things she had done therefore I eventually experienced compassion fatigue and emotional burn out. (Even to the point of experiencing reactive depression and anxiety.) This then created strong feelings of resentment, disappointment and anger towards my step siblings, especially my brothers. In essence, I felt used, hurt and heart broken. I know my step siblings have personal and if not mental health issues themselves such as fears of abandonment, anxiety, avoidance issues but this became a catch 22 for myself, since they would rather avoid and run away from situations their actions or lack thereof further solidifying my negative feelings towards them. Hence leading up to this day, almost two years and none of them have really made any effort to reconcile or take any action to rebuild our relationships. You can see how this further adds to my feelings of resentment, hurt and anger. For the two years it’s just been brewing, sometimes I feel compassion sometimes I feel nothing but hate and anger. Sometimes I don’t feel anything because I’m focused on other things alas ‘out of sight out of mind’. But I’ve come to this point where I’m so tired of the roller coaster of emotions and want peace back in my life. I’ve felt a strong need to resolve this myself (again) but this is where I get stuck… I will still have to see them since they are my mother’s husband’s kids so I know I can’t completely ‘walk away”. So I am writing to ask what can I do in this instance? I need peace back, I want to let go and not feel hurt nor angry anymore. Do I just simply walk away and basically do what they do? Or do I once and for all confront them and tell them that I am letting go and do just that, acknowledge their presence but basically ignore them? Or do I continue making an effort to rebuild HOPING that love will eventually reciprocate?

Ellen2018 Parenting
  • replies: 4

Hi, new here. Single mom. What is the best parenting for a 20yr old high achiever son who is starting to have depression?

Hi, new here. Single mom. What is the best parenting for a 20yr old high achiever son who is starting to have depression?

squeak People need to learn what not to say!!
  • replies: 2

I have been having this struggle all of my adult life and you would think that by now that I would be able to shrug off comments made by people who you thought would understand and help but turns out they don't want to help or it's too hard for them ... View more

I have been having this struggle all of my adult life and you would think that by now that I would be able to shrug off comments made by people who you thought would understand and help but turns out they don't want to help or it's too hard for them to help even thought they promised they would. No matter how long the depression has lasted and now matter how many times you relapse for various reasons you still need support and understanding and positive reinforcement. I have to live with an alcoholic husband who is abusive verbally and emotionally and can be very cruel, and I know that people will say you don't have to live with this, but I do as I have no choice and financially can't afford to leave and I feel why should I as I have contributed to the home we own and why should I be the one to walk away with nothing. But sometimes the abuse is too hard to deal with so I take my self out of the situation for a period of time so I can regroup and put my thoughts in order in a quiet place. But on a recent occasion when I had leave the house in a hurry as the situation was escalating. I left without my purse just car keys, phone and the pretty dodgy clothes I had on and drove to a nearby car park to try on quieten my mind and think what to do next. I rang a friend just to talk as we have been friends for more than 20 years and he had reasonable advise for me in the past and he had said those words "I will be here for you" and I believed him but please if you don't mean this please don't say it. So it seems since he said this, things had changed and he didn't want for his new partner to find out about our friendship (even though it is innocent) and when I told him that things at home were bad and I had no where to go, his reply was "Oh, you can go to Target or KMart they are having a sale at the moment, that would fill in your time". This one comment has since sent me into a downward spiral and the intensity of this downward slide has been monumental. Having someone make such a trivial and hurtful comment at a time when I was very vulnerable and reaching out was just so very cruel, that I am still trying to make my way back from the depths and it has been 2 weeks now and I am still no where near being well, so just make sure your support people are aware of the power they hold with regard to your wellness.