Hi Grandy and Juliet,
The meaning of the word narcissist or narcissistic has changed.
I saw a graph on the internet and prior to 1990 it was rarely used.
Furthermore, the unofficial meaning has changed. Here is the official meaning-
of, relating to, or characterized by narcissism: such as. a : extremely self-centered with an exaggerated sense of self-importance : marked by or characteristic of excessive admiration of or infatuation with oneself a narcissistic personality He was a very narcissistic man, not too concerned with the world.—
No mention.of the traits we think, like silent treatment, control, abuse, ownership and obsession.
Anyway, back to the now genericly known and accepted meaning.
Grandy you are right, a narc won't seek help. My theory on this is that while living their life of control few people can confront them and win. To bow to treatment is to risk their shield from cracking and give their victims a sniff of success or at least relevance.
Juliet- yes they are selfish, extremely which means they have little ability to truly love.As I see it the only way they will be caught out or condemned is shaming in a movement from the masses. The "me to" movement is an example, however that is where physical abuse was present which is, by courts (and juries) greater evidence. The narc can claim his/her silence was his human and constitutional right, his control of his spouse due to her need for it etc
Stamping it out impossible, freeing yourself from it, more ideal as that takes your power back.
My mother has narc traits. She ruined my 1st wedding 1985. By 2011 we were going ok but the attention wasn't on her when I was about to marry again so she wanted to ruin it again. I sort a AVO to ensure she couldn't attend our park wedding.
When I attended court the magistrate was about to read a letter from my mother. I requested he not do so. I knew what was in it e.g. my father would roll over in his grave etc etc.
He granted the AVO. We had a great wedding.
My mother's power neutralized.
TonyWK
