My son walked out on me,I'm torn

[B-hopeful]

I feel like my heart has been torn out of me. It happened all in a few minutes. Son just comes to my bedroom and says he needs to talk to me. Says he wants to move out,i asked why. He wants his independence and so on. There's absolutely no reason no problem but just like that he says he's leaving whether i like it or not. He's 24ys old. He said a few things but thats not the reason for leaving, it doesn't make sense. I feel like a fool,i trusted him,he had this planned. Im heartbroken. I don't know how to make it stop the heartache.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It would be a difficult time for you.

Can I ask- why do you think trust is an issue? He's 24yo, well and truly over an age he can leave home. Why can't he make plans to leave? Do you think his explanation of "wanting his independence " is a smokescreen? If so why?

I think at 24yo his desire for independence is very normal. I mean at 19yo my daughter did the same and we were both happy.

Perhaps you are now aline and feeling the effects of that change?

I hope you can fill in gaps.

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello B-hopeful, I know this must be so disappointing for you, but as Tony has said 'he's well and truly over an age he can leave home', whether or not you have relied on him to make your life easier and if so then you have other options to consider.

Just because he wants to move out doesn't mean that he won't be in contact with you, but at his age, he wants to spread his wings and develop his own life.

Hope this works out for you.

Geoff.

[B-hopeful]

Thanks Geoff

Its just hard we're all very close and this just shocked me,he didn't end up coming home last night. I have my husband, 2sons 25 & 24yrs my daughter 12yrs. My older son got married 2years ago. You never know what truly goes on in their minds.

[B-hopeful]

Thanku tony

Im just shocked and so heart broken.i never expected that from him. I feel like a fool u know, i struggled last night to sleep not knowing where he is. Omg i can't hold it in as im writing to u i break down, sorry

[Sad_Anxious]

I'm sorry I know how you feel. I guess it's not the fact that he's moving out as much as the fact that it came as a surprise. He hasn't prepared you for it.

When children move out, it's hard, I think you are experiencing an empty nest syndrome and especially because you weren't prepared. This can be very painful.

I hope you can still talk to him and try not to be against his decision, at least that he can be open with you and tell you where is living now and that you can still have some time together.

I wish you best of luck.

[white knight]

Hi again

Crying will be a big release. There is no crime committed in caring, loving and missing him. Pat yourself on the back for being shocked and listening to others here point out what is obvious to outsiders but not to you- great job in talking and absorbing thoughts from others.

If you have mobile phone contact I'd leave it for a few days and send him a simple and short message- Hi, we love you, visit anytime, hope you are ok. love.... Then leave it for some time. Let him respond when he wants to. He's a grown man that likely sleeps at a friends house or similar and just needs his independence..

TonyWK

[B-hopeful]

Thanku tony

[B-hopeful]

Thanku

Im trying but it just hurts

I appreciate your words

[white knight]

How are you feeling now?

TonyWK