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My sister

Community Member

I can't say anything around her. Anything I say or do she comments on. I can never just enjoy myself without her giving judgy eyes like some high school bully. She gives me this stupid dumb face and it immediately makes me cry. Like... immediately. And she knows it, she's told me she enjoys seeing my reactions of anger/sadness and I hate her. What goodness does she deserve from me after all these years of me not doing anything to hurt her.

I Try and make conversation. I try and do things with her. But she just shuts me off acting like I'm being crazy. I was never cruel to her, I don't make fun of her when she's sad. She has no empathy toward me.

She made me feel suicidal when I was arouns 14. I was very sensitive and couldn't take it. She used to threaten me. And she would have been 11. She's just cruel and mean not only to me but rude to my parents. I'm scared of her touching me when I tell her every time to stop. I watch my words and try not to make her angry. She'll always win, no matter what I say or do she always wins. Because she has comebacks, because she'll just yell whenever I try and speak, because she'll give me that stupid face and I just shut up. Even if I hurt her she'd hurt me back. Harder. And I'd cry and I'd lose.

But sometimes, when she feels like it, she becomes very nice and generous. Which means when I tell my mum I think she hates me, she brings up those positive times.

3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Phoenix,

Having siblings can be so difficult. One day they treat you nicely and another they treat you badly. You are so strong for getting through it.

My younger sister does similar things to yours. It is so hard to deal with her.

My advice is just to ignore her. The more attention you give to her, the more she will annoy you and make you feel bad.

Stay safe and i am here to chat if you need me.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Guest927,

Im so sorry that your sister behaves the way she does towards you.

This is a reflection of your sister and not you.

You can’t always control the way people are ……but what you can control is the way you react to it.

The more you calmer you can be around a negative situation is the better you will feel because you won’t allow any one else’s negative behaviour influence your feelings……

work on keeping a high vibration within you so if you encounter a negative vibration it won’t be able to latch onto you.

It takes practice but you really can learn to be calm in a negative situation and you win!

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Guest927,

I will share with you the one thing that I have learnt from dealing with angry and abusive people for most of my life - do not react and do not engage. These people are horrible miserable people inside, and they can’t deal with that so they need to project it onto someone else. They do that by luring you in, being mean, getting a reaction and then taking it out on you or denying that they have done this. But it’s like a fire, if you remove the fuel source, they will suffocate. When your sister comes at you, simply walk away, get a drink, don’t listen to her words, don’t react, do not give her the pleasure of your reaction. This will infuriate her at first and she will try harder, become more outlandish in her insults but keep at it and she will eventually tire.
It sounds as though your mum is intent on playing peace maker, which means that she will basically deny these things in an attempt to smooth things over between you both. I wouldn’t bother talking to her any more about it, her response will be the same. You just need to completely disengage. Whether you want someone like that in your life later on is for you to decide.