Hello Hun,
Sorry Im late to the discussion, but I want to say that I admire the way you still standing by him despite the anxiety you have over the divorce issue.
I first agree with whats been said here to you regarding this, and want to make a point that the divorce issue he has, doesn't mean he is wanting a "safety net" in case things go wrong with you. You just need to realize that there are children involved and this is most likely the reason why he needs to proceed with caution. As a father myself, its hard to try and keep the children out from being used as leverage for either parent against the other in a separation. Even though your partner might not be using those tactics, he has to be careful on how to proceed so as to not make the children feel they have to "take a side", and to not give reason for the other parent to fight back claiming parental alienation. Sure, custody orders can cover that to some degree, but it's not just the legal side of things, it is the children's state of mental health in the issue. No one wants the children to be used as a weapon, but still they can be used in such a way, even if not intentional, by either parent.
My advice would be just show patience, and just focus on being there for him, as if you are a wife to him yourself. Think of marriage as just being a piece of paper at this stage that you can wait for (if this is what you are hoping for) and treat him as if you are married to him, so just by doing this, it gives him a clear picture of a goal for you and him, therefore may motivate him to act.
Bringing it up often can cause issues between you and him, instead try just subtle hints, ones that wont push him to action, rather motivate him to action, keeping him reminded without pressure, of what you would like to happen. Examples would be to say how you like the way your name sounds (inserting his surname instead of your own), and just thanking him for being your partner. Be creative, but caring, understanding and patient.
I do hope this helps, again, I do admire you for sticking with him, just don't give up on him, as what you seek, might be just a day away, may be a week away, maybe more, but in end, it is going to be well worth it.
Terry
