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My partner constantly accuses me of cheating.

Community Member
Hi all.

I've been with my partner (m25) for 10 months.
He's my second serious relationship and it's been a rollercoaster of ups and downs ever since.
I honestly put a lot of effort into trying to keep us going, trying new things, going out and keeping the spark alive.
On good days, he is amazing, cooks, laughs and we connect and bond really well.
The issue is, that my partner will have days, maybe 2-3 times a week where he constantly accuses me of cheating and being unfaithful.
He also will drink quite often which usually starts off good, then something snaps and he starts saying derogatory things, picks on me and blames me for a lot of things.
He accuses me of being manipulative, that I gaslight and I'm not loyal.

He will start off by saying "you know what done and you can't be honest."

Then. He kicks me out and bombs my phone asking for space and that he can't be with someone he can't trust.

In simple terms, I feel like I'm walking through a mine field ready to blow up.

Any advise cheers.
10 Replies 10

Hi JayGun.

Thank you for sharing your situation as it can be really tough when experiencing a partner's trauma and difficulties. At times, it can cause us to feel overwhelmed, hurt and angry.

The hardest part that I personally find is when you try to help your partner through their difficulties and they shut down, become silent and ignore my support.

My ex of about three days ago has a lot of issues and as much as love him, and was willing to support and nurture him, he is yet to become self-aware of his mental illness and unfortunately choses to continue his abusive behaviour.

Sometimes we need to learn that we cannot change abusive people, especially when we are wholly empathetic and caring, they need to take responsibility for their bad behaviour.

Please take care of yourself and focus on being the best version that you can be because if our partner cannot look after themselves, they cannot look after us. We are more valuable than they can understand.

Be strong, be brave.