Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

My husbands depression has ruined our relationship and Marriage

Community Member

My husband was diagnosed with depression about 11 years ago. He was medicated by a Dr and didnt like the way it made him feel. He was always talking about getting off the meds but he was told by the Dr that it is best to stay on them.

Over the years his depression got worse and he stopped seeing his Dr.18 months ago he decided to take himself off the meds. This was a really scary time for the kids and I. His behavior was erratic and his moods were terrible. We began fighting alot more than usual and he started making threats of suicide. Often I have been scared to go into our house if he gets home before me.

Our relationship has always been stressed due to his not being a 'present' father. My husband has 3 children (2 with me and an older child from a previous relationship). All 3 children lived with us. I became an instant mother of 3 the day I cam home from the hospital with my twins ans his older child was also sent to live with us while I was in hospital giving birth. This was stressful for me as my husband was very little help 'always at work or at the shops'. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and became very bitter about his lack of help and interest in his family.

The years went on and things didnt change but I decided to accept them as they were thinking i wouldn't be able to cope on my own. There were some good times but as a whole my Husband still preferred to be away from the family.

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi welcome

Stubborness is a huge problem.

Google- Topic: does stubborness have a place?-beyondblue

Unfortunately there is little remedy. I do have one suggestion. Go to a marriage counselor. Go so you can learn how to deal with him.

If he wont go dont tell him of the outcome of the sessions. If he wants to know, tell him he can come along. Try Relationships Australia

Also. Google Topic: talking to men, some tips- beyondblue

Tony WK

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Spegel, by going against his doctor's advice he came off his med's, which is probably not a good choice, however it's a decision he wanted to make himself, but from what you have said it's not a wise decision.
It you do decide to leave then you would the twins to look after, rather than 3 children, but I'm not suggesting that this is what you should do right now, but a young family needs both the parents to give as much as they can, and not to be absent, because that means running away from responsibility, so virtually you are on your own.
You will have to decide whether you want to go to a marriage counsellor as Tony has suggested, but what I do believe is that you need to see a counsellor yourself, because there does seem to a lot of pressure on youself without much support from your husband.
Please let us know how you go. Geoff. x