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My husband wants to separate

Community Member

After knowing him for 12 years, being married for 5, my husband wants to separate from me because he wants to pursue his own interests. I’m at a loss as to why he would feel like he would need to cut me loose just because he needs to pursue his interests. I have asked if there’s someone else, he claims there isn’t. He said it doesn’t feel fair on me for him to do his own thing while leaving me behind. I have supported him through a long distance relationship for 2 years, now that he’s back, he wants to separate. I’m at a very low point right now. I don’t know how to function without him. I’ve managed to convince him to stay in the house. I’m trying to compromise but how much more I can take without losing myself I don’t know. I don’t ant to lose him. I don’t know how to live without him being mentally and emotionally there for me.

I know I’ll be an empty shell without him. Please.. advice?

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi Rach,

Is it perhaps your husband has spoken to you a many times on his wish to follow this path and pursue his interests and that you haven't been supportive or perhaps dismissive?

It may be that he feels to pursue his interests he no longer believes that he can do that whilst being with you?

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Rach..

I too was once in your shoes. The devastation and the anguish you are feeling right now. All the questions you be asking right now. I have now been split for two years and believe me I am in a better place ...although i too didn't think it was possible. Felt totally paralysed ...felt that he was my entire world. But I survive all that...and I am happy. I learn to let go of things I cannot control ..and he was one thing I couldn't control and all the circumstances that surrounded it. But I could only concentrate on myself...my own set of reactions and responses . You might not believe it now but it will get better . It always does...this pain is temporary .

believe me Rach you are beautiful and strong within yourself and you will find the strength within yourself . I want to give you a big hug as I know how terrible this all feels and how alone you can feel right now.

I had a meditation thing to relax and clear my head and offer me some relief ,,,if you type Jason Stephesen...sleep mediation letting go or peace...you get some meditation aid. This helped me tremendously and gave me some peace when everything seem to be spinning out of control.

Take care of yourself and let me how you go with the videos ..There are lots on the internet ..this guy i found was most relaxing for me.

I am here most days and if you want to rant or need a ear ...I am here for you ...in fact we all are here for you .You have come to a good and safe place ...Welcome 🙂