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My family doesn't understand that certain common things make me(14) uncomfortable

Community Member

I have no idea why, but i find myself often doing things that are considered weird, and feeling uncomfortable by things that are.

Some of these things include the fact that i wash my hands constantly. Sometimes its because i touched something that i don't like the texture of, or they just don't feel clean. I also dont let anyone touch my bed or the things i keep on it. These items include my ipad, pencil and headphones. I dont even touch these things myself unless i have showered. I dont know why, but i just dont feel comfortable when those things get 'dirty'. My family (father and older sister) dont feel the same, and will sometimes judge me for washing my hands too much. My sister also 'forgets' about the fact that i dont like my stuff being touched often.I remind her all of the time, but she always ends up doing it again eventually. When i start to get really upset (it bothers me ALOT for some reason) she says that it just doesnt make sense. I get that, I know it doesnt, but i just want to respect that i dont like it. Its not like it hurts anyone. I got upset with her a few hours ago because she used my headphones, and afterwards my dad just told me that i wash my hands too much. I it started to seriously effect me around the beginning of last year, but i started to be a bit more clean than my family in grade 4, and it just got worse as time went on.

Another thing is my lack of need to socialise. I used to want to have friends, but now i dont. i cant hang out with my only friend (who i have known for over a year) for more than about 3 hours before wanting to leave. My family also does not understand this, although the usually just leave it alone, which i appreciate. The problem is that I might have a school camp soon (I live in a relatively covid-safe country) and my father wants me to go. I have repeatedly stressed how much of a nightmare it would be for me, since i would have to sleep in a tent, be around people ALL day, and I would constantly be dirty (I am also not very active and everyone will be hiking the whole time), but he just gets frustrated with me and tells me that i am going, before ending the short-lived conversation. I really want to be able to get permission to skip it in advance so that im not left shaking and panicking the week before. They keep telling that i will enjoy it, but i am. certain that i will not. Perhaps he does not want to semm like a bad parent to the school?

I feel bad for being. bossy with them but it bothers me alot

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

hi and welcome to the forums.

we all have our own quirks. it is what makes us unique. from your post, you don't like things to get dirty? That make sense... to a point. Many traits can be good until they become obsessive. Your father might not see things the same way as you do. It does not make him right and you wrong or vice versa.

Would I be correct to assume you were in school?

If so, you could always talk about this with the school counsellor for their thoughts?

The one thing I missed from your post is what would happen if you were to use or touch something that was dirty?

On the camping trip... and I am not disagreeing with anything you have said and ... do you think it is possible in your message that mentioned all the negative things that would happen. From myself, concentrating or fixating on the negative is something I am really good at. And those negatives far outweigh any positive thoughts.

If you want to talk about this more, I am here listening. I hope some of this made sense.