My Dad bought a motorbike

[shorti]

Hi all,

My Dad bought a motorbike last year. He now rides it to work and I'm completely stressing out over it to the point where I lost sleep last night and ended up in bed crying.

I'm worried he is going to end up in an accident and seriously injure himself or get killed. He only got his licence recently so he isn't experienced at riding.

He's 64 years of age so no spring chicken.

I lost my mum 17 years ago so the thought of losing my Dad is stressing me out. My mum was an alcoholic and I spent the majority of my teenage years stressing she would get killed on the road drink driving. Now I feel like it's happening all over again, stressing over my dad being killed on the road.

I gave birth to my first baby four months ago and I want him to be around to enjoy being a grandfather.

Is it strange for someone in their mid 60s to just go out and buy a motorbike?

My sister is worried too but says it's his life so nothing we can do. I know she's right but it doesn't stop me stressing over it.

[geoff]

Hello shorti, your dad might have done this for several reasons, cheaper on fuel, easy to park, cheaper registration and easier to monovere through the congested peak hour travel as well as to repair or whatever else are his reasons.

Driving a motor vehicle or a motorbike always cause great concern but I'm sure his intentions are good, and don't forget he probably feels the same with his family driving cars.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Matchy69]

Hi shorti and congratulations on the birth of your first baby.I have been riding motorbikes for 40 years and I feel completely safe on the roads and am still here.Your dad may be an inexperienced rider but at the age of 64 has plenty of road experience and maturity that a younger rider dosnt have.I feel for you losing a parent when you were so young as I lost my dad at the age of 20 so I know what it's like wanting to keep your dad around for as long as possible.I am sure he's enjoying riding his bike and feels safe on it.

[Petal22]

Hi shorti,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Your Dad may have bought the motorbike to fulfill a life long want or maybe it makes him feel young at heart.

Whatever his reasons as long as it makes him happy then that’s great.

I understand your worried but maybe you could take it as a good thing for your dad maybe it keeps him going and gives him something to look forward to.

I understand when our parents age we worry but try to remember that just because they are ageing it doesn’t mean we have to wrap them up in cotton wool… let them live too.

Im sure your Dad will love being a Pop and congratulations on becoming a mum.

[Juliet_84]

Hi shorti,

It sounds as though your dad’s recent decision to buy a motorbike has triggered some deeper issues/trauma for you. Not only the loss of your mother but also the fact that she was an alcoholic really placed you in an adult/carer role from a young age and caused you to feel as though you were responsible for keeping everyone safe, admirable but also heartbreaking as you were too young to have that burden placed on you. No doubt the desire to keep those around you safe has been amplified by the recent birth of your baby (congratulations 😊). But as hard as it is, we can’t keep the people around us safe any more than we can keep ourselves safe. He could be driving to work in a car and be involved in a car accident - rather than make you feel worse, what I’m trying to show you is that you cannot control the uncontrollable, and all wrapping ourselves up in cotton wool does is remove any enjoyment we have from life. Rather than tell your dad not to ride, I would suggest seeing a psychologist to work through some of your past trauma in an attempt to heal and come to terms with the past. One of those fluro safety vests might also be a good birthday present 🙂