I moved out of home with my 3 closest friends in 2023; It was great but over time I have started to feel increasingly miserable over their behaviours and bad habits pertaining to cleanliness of our shared spaces;
we all work late night hospitality jobs so I understand that it’s exhausting coming home and you just want to eat and sleep and ‘deal with it later’. But I’ve been finding it increasingly hard to use spaces without having to clean up their mess in order to use the space. From the vacuum cleaner not being emptied after use and getting blocked with mould, to stacks of empty toilet rolls stacked in our bathrooms, greasy/sticky bench tops and tables, food scraps on the floor and in the couch and carpet, overflowing bins; there is an expectation of ‘I’ll do it later’ that’s become ‘do it when I finally notice’. I was raised to clean up spaces and keep them tidy when finished using them, but I’m sick of having to clean up after myself AND others, whenever I need to use the kitchen, lounge or bathrooms. It’s become increasingly taxing on me and I find it unfair that I’m cleaning up after myself I’m cleaning up their mess too.
We had a big argument/meeting over this because I tried talking to other people about what I should do, and it’s created a miserable tension in the house and a 3 vs Me situation; I was told I’ve forced myself into a matronly service role because I have a ‘psychotic’ standard of cleanliness, that the house isn’t as dirty as I think it is and it’s all in my head, and I’ve been basically been told there will be no compromise.
they’ve basically told me to ‘suck it up or leave’, and I’m genuinely considering it;
these people are supposed to be my best friends but when I told them how I felt, it was immediately thrown back at me… I don’t want to move back in with my parents or move in with strangers and I feel stuck, overwhelmed and unequal in this dynamic.
