Mum Doesn't Like Dad Helping Others

[adamc]

Some months ago, Dad and I helped out a neighbour by looking after his dog while they went on holiday for 2 weeks and recently has asked us to do it again.

Mum was totally against it the first time, saying "You don't even know the dog. Why do you have to it? Nah, tell them you can't do it."

When we returned from his place, after agreeing to feed their dog, Mum said "I thought you said you weren't going to do it."

I have no issue with it a second time but Dad is stressed out about it, saying "Do you know how your mother will react if we helped out again? I will get abused and get 'Oh, you'll help with someone else's dog but you don't want to have a dog of your own. No, tell them you can't do it and to get someone else.'"

Dad has always got the opinion from Mum that he's only allowed to help out with her brother and not anyone else.

[tranzcrybe]

It's nice to help neighbours occasionally and usually the favour is returned.
When neighbours came home did you receive a token of their appreciation?
More importantly, did you find the task enjoyable having a chance to interact with the dog?
If so, the benefit may outweigh the inconvenience (and it's cheaper to 'rent' than buy!).
Conversely, if you (or dad) felt obligated and tied down, maybe setting your own reasonable terms could reach a respectfully mutual understanding that you aren't to be taken for granted.
Mum's idea to 'share the burden' with other neighbours is also quite reasonable but I get what you are saying.

[adamc]

Dad and I did get a token of appreciation; they paid us for doing it which Dad said they didn't have to.

The dog is considered a little ankle biter and always used to bark at us when we walked by. But while we were feeding her, she did get use to us being there. Dad would give her breakfast and I would give her dinner.

But Mum seems to be saying "If I can't have a dog, you can't assist anyone with their dog."

Mum has had every adoption application rejected.

[tranzcrybe]

Hey adamc,

I wonder if you could soften mum's heart by taking the dog for a walk to the park together - you, dad, mum, and the 'terror'?

You'd have to okay it with the neighbours of course, but what an opportunity to have (and not have) a dog of your own; if only for a few weeks at a time - all the fun without the obligation!

Your mum clearly loves animals but is ineligible for the responsibility of owning one, so it could be a workable compromise to everyone's benefit.

If you ever watched the movie 'As good as it gets', you might see how these things can turn around.

[adamc]

Our duties is to simply feed her and water the plants.

What I should've mentioned is that before we were asked to feed her, the neighbour used to have his son come by, stay at the house and look after her but for whatever reason, he couldn't.

They didn't want to put her in a boarding kennel as due to her age and some health issues, when they came back from their holiday, they feared she would've passed away. So it was better for her to stay at home in a comfortable environment.

Because we'd got on nicely, he asked us if we wouldn't mind doing it. We'd simply walk down there each day, feed her in the morning and at night and water the plants.

Now, we've been told we're needed again and Dad is unsure about knowing how Mum will react.