Marriage struggles after baby 3

[mummato3]

Hey all can anyone else relate 

baby 3 has arrived and our marriage has turned to a dark place, pregnancy and post partum is always tough on us 

I feel I’m not appreciated enough but my husband doesn’t want to give me more emotional support as I don’t think he knows how. He works alot I handle the home and the kids 80% of the time 
all blown up in front of the kids on the weekend, saying he has alot of anger towards me,  the last year has been the worst he says. 
being pregnant and postpartum never is going to ignite an amazing sex life 

but it’s more than that there is no communication, just anger . 
i feel lost 

I want my kids to grow up happy and loved and this is heading towards a dark toxic place 

but I also think we deserve to be happy if we no longer make each other happy then maybe we should go our separate ways… 

i have PPA this time and am finding it hard 

I want to just escape with the newborn to a holiday for a week 

embrace it knowing it’s my last. 
I feel I should be allowed to focus on the newborn bubble not be pressured by marriage problems 

we can deal with that soon 

I pride myself on being caring and giving person always , my husband is the only person who tells me constantly it’s all about me ( which I don’t get as I do everything for our kids always and first ) 

it’s hard to here 

we have councelling booked, but I just feel if he’s got anger pent up 

unless he wants to learn to release it 

it’s never going to get better. 

just hoping I have other mums or dads who have gone through these tough times in the relationship 

I grew up with a house of love my parents were madly in love 40 years on 

i jusg don’t think marriage should be this hard a constant battle 

[Sophie_M]

Hi mummato3,

Thank you so much for sharing this. It sounds like you’re having an incredibly difficult time and we can hear that’s having a huge impact on you.

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and we can hear that you're not feeling very supported. Please know that you’ve come to a safe, non-judgmental and supportive space to talk about this. It’s also really important to give yourself space to process these feelings.

It's great to hear you have counselling booked for you and your husband. We wondered if you've been offered any counselling or professional support with the post partum anxiety (PPA) you mentioned? It's always worth reaching out to PANDA if you're not sure you're getting the support you need. They're on 1300 726 306 (available Monday to Saturday).

You can also call the Beyond Blue helpline at any time, on 1300 22 4636. They can help you talk this through and will also be able to help you plan what's next so that you have that support in place.

In a healthy relationship, you should be communicated with and treated with respect, so it might be worth having a look at the 1800Respect pages on healthy relationships. It sounds like it could be useful to have a chat with one of the lovely people at 1800Respect to discuss how you’ve been treated by your partner. They're on 1800 737 732, or you can reach them on online chat. 

Please be kind to yourself through this, as you've been so kind in sharing your experience here. Please know that in sharing this here, you are showing incredible strength, resilience and love. We hope you can see how inspirational this is.

Our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

Kind regards.

Sophie M