So I had a medical issue recently and the Dr advised I could loose some weight , get fit and cut back alcohol.
So I joined a gym and started exercising every day, cut down in sugars and alcohol.
i hit my target weight 😃 loosing 8% of my body weight in 2 months.
Thought my partner would be happy for me as she has been saying for a while I needed to loose weight. in fact I thi me the words were ‘your obese‘. Except the best I got was ‘ you still have all that belly fat’
Feeling very depressed that all that effort is going unnoticed it not recognised , was expecting some encouragement .
Yes, such comments can really hurt.
A technique I’ve used on every topic I’ve reacted with sensitivity about is reply with a question. This results in two things- you then turn the comment back into them and you make the other person realise the gravity of their comment. Eg
”you still have all that belly fat”
reply “do you want to strive to get close to me”?
”is that comment designed to hurt me”?
What I’ve found also is slim people have no concept of our overweight problem. We have to try to keep going regardless.
You’re doing great
You're a legend! A seriously great effort all 'round. It can definitely be tough rising to certain challenges in life but when we do begin to rise, bit by bit, this is what is known as gradually raising our self. We graduate through life, reflecting on the milestones of achievement.
I have discovered the greatest of all challenges in raising myself and this involves dealing with saboteurs. Whether consciously undertaken or non intentional, the comments and actions of those around us can really put us to the test. Those who put us down, bring us down or keep us down give us the further challenge of dealing with harsh self judgement.
MJ, it's taken me 49 years to finally kick the habit of taking things personally and judging myself harshly. I've risen to the point where I can look back at all my champion efforts to get here and say 'No more!' I find now that this has happened, I am expecting others to also put in some effort in rising to their challenges. I know this may sound pretty simplistic but it's been an incredibly tough mindset to have finally mastered. I'd lived in a depression for 15 years of my life at one point and I am determined to never let 'down' be a part of my life again. I know how soul destroying the lowest of lows can get.
By the way, when we challenge others, they can get a little defensive. When we pose such challenges we may be met with typical responses such as 'You're the one with the problem; you take things so personally' or 'There's nothing wrong with me'. We can only make suggestions, as it is their choice to miss out on this opportunity to raise their self. May I suggest that your partner's challenge is to rise to a greater sense of consciousness in regard to words chosen and encouragement.
Keep on rising MJthrice. You're an inspiration!