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Loosing Dad and then Marriage

Community Member

My dad died in April this year and I have been on a downward spiral ever since. He was my go to person. I miss him so much. I have had trouble with crowds and would really rather be on my own. In November my husband turned 45 and we had a party. I thought I did really well with talking to people. According to him I did not. So I decided to get some counselling. I made an appointment. I sat down to talk about it and asked him if he was going to be there for me, he told me he did not know. Three nights later in bed he woke me up to tell me that the answer was no. I was gutted. Things have gone from bad to worse. Now says he does not want to be anywhere near me. Our daughter is not doing so well. He left last night and is staying at a friends. My biggest problem is I still love him. I don't have a switch that tuns off my feelings. I know I need to move on, but I am just stuck and don't really know what to do next. I have been to counselor a few times but I just do not have the energy, I just want to curl up in bed and not get up.

1 Reply 1

Community Member

Dear kaw. Losing someone who was so close and your first lifeline would've been devastating. Did your hubby get along with your dad? Hubby can't understand the father/daughter relationship you had as each relationship a father and daughter share is unique to them. He obviously does not share a similar relationship with your daughter. You are grieving for a dad and a marriage. Perhaps going to a counselor would benefit you, but it could cause more problems as your hubby could react negatively. Have you contacted our online counseling service? You need someone to talk to and listen. The pain you're experiencing is raw and bitter. You have to deal with two things instead of one. A grief counselor might be more beneficial for you. BB has grief counselors available and are here now. Please call us, don't try to cope with this alone. You need help and support.