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Looking for others experiences talking to loved ones about your mental health?
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01-02-2021
04:07 PM
Hi guys,
I've been a part of these forums for a few days now, but I feel already its making a huge difference in my management and recovery of severe depression, stress and anxiety.
Without rambling or going in depth of my own issues which isn't my aim of this thread I guess, I was wondering what opinions, advice, and/or experience all of you have had in regards to talking to friends, family, and loved ones about your mental health?
For me, even though I have suffered from depression about 6 months now, it has been very slow and gradual, however becoming quite severe and debilitating since around Xmas and new years of 2020/2021, lots of feelings of hopelessness, lots of sadness, lots of tears, no suicidal thoughts thankfully, but just a general lack of desire and passion to live life.
My parents, 2 close friends, and wonderful girlfriend of 6 months are really the only people who have known about it, though since last week I am trying to get as much help and support as I can from others, with my counselling finally resuming next week, and enrolling myself in a online mental health well being program that is set to start this week hopefully.
One of my recent major concerns is with my girlfriend, I have the closest relationship with her than anyone else, and trust her the most, therefore I share a lot of my troubles with her, which I am so worried about, as I don't want it to be pulling her down or worsening her mood, as I have already seen it happen twice the past 2 weeks, when I was dealing with very severe anxiety and depression and breaking down quite a lot, it did affect her wellbeing seeing me like that
As a result of this, as much as I'd love her support, I think I'm better off not telling her so much and instead talking to my counsellor and the forums here, as much as It pains me to do so...she is the most wonderful girl and is so supportive and mentally strong, but I can see it is affecting her talking about and trying to help with my issues...
Have other people been in similar situations here? I have tried looking for other threads with this sort of topic, but came up with nothing, would love to hear from you guys 😊
I've been a part of these forums for a few days now, but I feel already its making a huge difference in my management and recovery of severe depression, stress and anxiety.
Without rambling or going in depth of my own issues which isn't my aim of this thread I guess, I was wondering what opinions, advice, and/or experience all of you have had in regards to talking to friends, family, and loved ones about your mental health?
For me, even though I have suffered from depression about 6 months now, it has been very slow and gradual, however becoming quite severe and debilitating since around Xmas and new years of 2020/2021, lots of feelings of hopelessness, lots of sadness, lots of tears, no suicidal thoughts thankfully, but just a general lack of desire and passion to live life.
My parents, 2 close friends, and wonderful girlfriend of 6 months are really the only people who have known about it, though since last week I am trying to get as much help and support as I can from others, with my counselling finally resuming next week, and enrolling myself in a online mental health well being program that is set to start this week hopefully.
One of my recent major concerns is with my girlfriend, I have the closest relationship with her than anyone else, and trust her the most, therefore I share a lot of my troubles with her, which I am so worried about, as I don't want it to be pulling her down or worsening her mood, as I have already seen it happen twice the past 2 weeks, when I was dealing with very severe anxiety and depression and breaking down quite a lot, it did affect her wellbeing seeing me like that
As a result of this, as much as I'd love her support, I think I'm better off not telling her so much and instead talking to my counsellor and the forums here, as much as It pains me to do so...she is the most wonderful girl and is so supportive and mentally strong, but I can see it is affecting her talking about and trying to help with my issues...
Have other people been in similar situations here? I have tried looking for other threads with this sort of topic, but came up with nothing, would love to hear from you guys 😊
72 Replies 72
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05-02-2021
10:15 AM
Hey Jack2021,
I am really sorry to hear work is such a stressor for you - it sounds like taking time off is the best decision for you right now. I hope that stepping away can give you the space and perspective you need to think about the best ways to move forward. But focusing on your health first is essential. If you feel that your work is dragging you down and affecting your health, it is probably time to look elsewhere. Searching for jobs can be very stressful, especially when you don't know exactly where or how you want to go, and with the uncertainty of everything at the moment - please try not to put pressure on yourself, if you feel like scoping out options have a look around online and see what is out there, but if it is causing you undue stress, I would encourage you to maybe leave it for a bit and perhaps talk to your counsellor about work when you see her next week.
I hope you have a good weekend with your partner - it sounds like she is a real source of positivity and strength for you. Take care Jack.
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05-02-2021
12:18 PM
Sorry Jack, I fell asleep (well kind of, I have insomnia so I stay up late and sleep in).
Yep I agree with you and Medicare, and the lack of mental health stuff in Australia.
My Psychiatrist & GP keep telling me to get a Psychologist but I can't, I've tried so many. They don't get it. It gets annoying & pushy at times.
Sorry my reply isn't that long right now, I'm still half asleep haha
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05-02-2021
01:07 PM
Hi sunnyl,
Thank you so much for your advice and support it means a lot 😊
Thank you so much for your positive reinforcement of my decision, honestly, it was something I should have done earlier, as this temporary job was seriously affecting my physical and mental health...but I kept thinking it would get better, and trying to "battle through it"...such is the attitudes I was raised with I guess.
I am hoping for that space and perspective, but it is hard to get...but I feel it is coming slowly in drips and drops....I know the mornings are the worst time for me, they are the times when my depression and anxiety are at their most severe, so I have to actively stop myself from thinking about the future or what options to pursue, as I cannot think rationally about them during this time.. clarity soon grows throughout the day (provided it is a good day for me) and reaches its peak at night.
It is at night, most nights, where I feel "normal", relaxed, and sometimes at ease, and happy even. I do have to be careful in this state too however, as I realise my thinking tends not to be realistic, and I tend to see everything through a "happy lens" -e.g. I might watch a documentary about rail workers, and myself, loving trains, will go and say "oh my goodness, that looks like a fantastic relaxed job"...meanwhile the rational side of me has to step in, and acknowledge that is extremely hard work, these men and women are working outdoors in the sun all day long, wearing mandatory long pants and long sleeve shirts, doing hot heavy, physical work...something I have done plenty of the times in the past, and most definately do not want to make a career out of.
My ideal situation is indeed to first talk to my counsellor, I am finally seeing her for the first time since before Xmas of 2020...so I'm sure there will be a lot to talk about, and I'm quite sure I will probably end up breaking down in tears from some of my unresolved issues and fears which I cannot talk about on here or to others about.
Thank you so much for that, she is generally very supportive, however I cannot talk to her anymore fully about my problems and issues, as I have seen them hurt her deeply before, and that hurts me just as much or even more perhaps..... so nobody benefits from that scenario.
Regardless, I love her very dearly and she holds a very special place in my heart, I just hope she feels the same way about me, but I know that is my depression and anxiety questioning that...though I have been in several past relationships where women "fell out of love" at the drop of a hat with very little warning, over minor issues/arguments, so with love I guess I do have some unresolved trust issues
Anyway thank you so much😊 I hope you have a great weekend as well😊
Thank you so much for your advice and support it means a lot 😊
Thank you so much for your positive reinforcement of my decision, honestly, it was something I should have done earlier, as this temporary job was seriously affecting my physical and mental health...but I kept thinking it would get better, and trying to "battle through it"...such is the attitudes I was raised with I guess.
I am hoping for that space and perspective, but it is hard to get...but I feel it is coming slowly in drips and drops....I know the mornings are the worst time for me, they are the times when my depression and anxiety are at their most severe, so I have to actively stop myself from thinking about the future or what options to pursue, as I cannot think rationally about them during this time.. clarity soon grows throughout the day (provided it is a good day for me) and reaches its peak at night.
It is at night, most nights, where I feel "normal", relaxed, and sometimes at ease, and happy even. I do have to be careful in this state too however, as I realise my thinking tends not to be realistic, and I tend to see everything through a "happy lens" -e.g. I might watch a documentary about rail workers, and myself, loving trains, will go and say "oh my goodness, that looks like a fantastic relaxed job"...meanwhile the rational side of me has to step in, and acknowledge that is extremely hard work, these men and women are working outdoors in the sun all day long, wearing mandatory long pants and long sleeve shirts, doing hot heavy, physical work...something I have done plenty of the times in the past, and most definately do not want to make a career out of.
My ideal situation is indeed to first talk to my counsellor, I am finally seeing her for the first time since before Xmas of 2020...so I'm sure there will be a lot to talk about, and I'm quite sure I will probably end up breaking down in tears from some of my unresolved issues and fears which I cannot talk about on here or to others about.
Thank you so much for that, she is generally very supportive, however I cannot talk to her anymore fully about my problems and issues, as I have seen them hurt her deeply before, and that hurts me just as much or even more perhaps..... so nobody benefits from that scenario.
Regardless, I love her very dearly and she holds a very special place in my heart, I just hope she feels the same way about me, but I know that is my depression and anxiety questioning that...though I have been in several past relationships where women "fell out of love" at the drop of a hat with very little warning, over minor issues/arguments, so with love I guess I do have some unresolved trust issues
Anyway thank you so much😊 I hope you have a great weekend as well😊
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05-02-2021
01:25 PM
Heyyy mb 😊
All cool all cool.....never had insomnia myself, though I worked 5 years on afternoon shift a few years back, so I know all about staying up late and sleeping in...at my worst, I would come home at midnight, stay up until 6am (tv, movies, internet, etc), go to sleep, and then wake up at around 1pm, only having about 1or 2 hours of free time before going to work.... It was shitty, but didn't give me depression at all during that time which was good. I do realise however, that it was hugely unhealthy on my body, and soon after left the afternoon shift, returning to day shift work.
Exactly right, it's just sad that people make a big "song and dance" about us being more open, supportive, and aware of mental health, yet even though we are a bit, mental health support options like counselling, still remain out if reach for many due to financial reasons.
Ah I get that, and I understand completely. It can be so frustrating when people try to push you to do things, or get help in certain ways, when you are not comfortable with them, and you are sure within yourself that they don't work well for you. I have experienced this not only with mental health, but with so many other things in life, things like my health, hobbies, studies, jobs/careers, etc, etc...it can get hella annoying that's for sure....
Completely fine 😊😊 sorry I always write such long winded responses!! 😂 I find it helps me a bit....
Also I was meaning to ask, so what does your Psychiatrist do??
I was still under the impression that the terms psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, and counsellor, were all essentially the same profession more or less??
GP's I've found to be of virtually no help when it comes to mental health, but then again I really need to get one, and stick to one, if I was to use them more...for what I'm not sure, possibly if I was to go on medication, I guess I'd want to be seeing the one gp...that would be a good idea I guess...
Anyway i hope you're having a good day so far mb 😊
All cool all cool.....never had insomnia myself, though I worked 5 years on afternoon shift a few years back, so I know all about staying up late and sleeping in...at my worst, I would come home at midnight, stay up until 6am (tv, movies, internet, etc), go to sleep, and then wake up at around 1pm, only having about 1or 2 hours of free time before going to work.... It was shitty, but didn't give me depression at all during that time which was good. I do realise however, that it was hugely unhealthy on my body, and soon after left the afternoon shift, returning to day shift work.
Exactly right, it's just sad that people make a big "song and dance" about us being more open, supportive, and aware of mental health, yet even though we are a bit, mental health support options like counselling, still remain out if reach for many due to financial reasons.
Ah I get that, and I understand completely. It can be so frustrating when people try to push you to do things, or get help in certain ways, when you are not comfortable with them, and you are sure within yourself that they don't work well for you. I have experienced this not only with mental health, but with so many other things in life, things like my health, hobbies, studies, jobs/careers, etc, etc...it can get hella annoying that's for sure....
Completely fine 😊😊 sorry I always write such long winded responses!! 😂 I find it helps me a bit....
Also I was meaning to ask, so what does your Psychiatrist do??
I was still under the impression that the terms psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, and counsellor, were all essentially the same profession more or less??
GP's I've found to be of virtually no help when it comes to mental health, but then again I really need to get one, and stick to one, if I was to use them more...for what I'm not sure, possibly if I was to go on medication, I guess I'd want to be seeing the one gp...that would be a good idea I guess...
Anyway i hope you're having a good day so far mb 😊
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05-02-2021
01:38 PM
Hey Jack.
Hmm your work sounds tough, sorry to hear. Yep, I agree. So many people can't get help for a few reasons and it's heartbreaking.
All good about you writing long replies, I don't mind.
Psychiatrists prescribe medications and deal with that, and diagnoseses. He tries to give me as much therapy as he can on top of that & just let me vent since he knows how much I struggle.
Yeah I personally haven't found GPs good for mental health either. I've already seen a few GPs before I found mine, 1 at the same clinic mine is at.
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06-02-2021
08:24 AM
Hiiii mb
Mmm yeah it was pretty tough towards the end, but not always...like most of the jobs I've had unfortunately, they start out great, then it all goes downhill eventually... Mmmm yes exactly, it'd truly is heartbreaking to hear about people who can't get the help they need for one reason or another...
Ohhh cool cool thanks haha 😊😊
Ahhh I see...so seems like I don't think I've ever seen a psychiatrist before then...the GP either wants to put me straight onto medication, or straight to counselling/ psychologist...
Is a psychiatrist something you would recommend? Do they charge? Or is it all under Medicare/bulk bill?
Mmm yeah exactly exactly......sorry for the late reply by the way, seems like this might be a bit of a busy weekend for me....😱
Mmm yeah it was pretty tough towards the end, but not always...like most of the jobs I've had unfortunately, they start out great, then it all goes downhill eventually... Mmmm yes exactly, it'd truly is heartbreaking to hear about people who can't get the help they need for one reason or another...
Ohhh cool cool thanks haha 😊😊
Ahhh I see...so seems like I don't think I've ever seen a psychiatrist before then...the GP either wants to put me straight onto medication, or straight to counselling/ psychologist...
Is a psychiatrist something you would recommend? Do they charge? Or is it all under Medicare/bulk bill?
Mmm yeah exactly exactly......sorry for the late reply by the way, seems like this might be a bit of a busy weekend for me....😱
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07-02-2021
02:39 PM
Hi Jack, sorry I just saw your thread.
Sorry to hear that.
Yes I would recommend a Psychiatrist if you're on medication. There should be a few that bulk bill, mine is on Medicare so I don't pay.
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07-02-2021
07:35 PM
Heya mb 😊 all cool, haven't been on here much on this weekend (being with the partner and all) so I only just got your reply too 😊
Ahhh alright, might be something for me to consider then if I end up going on medication.......The thought of going back to work is giving me quite a lot of stress and anxiety, however it needs to be done, well more like I need to find a job, so that's stressful too.... hopefully if I find something not so bad It will take away a lot of that anxiety I hope, though sadly there is no permanent or guaranteed fix or speedy recovery here for me I know 😱
Ahhh alright, might be something for me to consider then if I end up going on medication.......The thought of going back to work is giving me quite a lot of stress and anxiety, however it needs to be done, well more like I need to find a job, so that's stressful too.... hopefully if I find something not so bad It will take away a lot of that anxiety I hope, though sadly there is no permanent or guaranteed fix or speedy recovery here for me I know 😱
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07-02-2021
07:46 PM
Feeling like my life is a joke though...some sort of bad cruel joke that just never gets better...
Feeling like everytime I feel like I'm on track in life, it all goes to crap and all messes itself up....never felt like I've had a good, happy, long run of life so far...I mainly remember parts of my life from the different struggles i went through over the years and it freaking sucks....I only wish I was happier in life, but it just sucks...it really does...
Feeling like everytime I feel like I'm on track in life, it all goes to crap and all messes itself up....never felt like I've had a good, happy, long run of life so far...I mainly remember parts of my life from the different struggles i went through over the years and it freaking sucks....I only wish I was happier in life, but it just sucks...it really does...
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07-02-2021
07:52 PM
All good
