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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Louise13 The guilt of living apart from family
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I’m needing some encouragement at the moment... from anyone who can help or who may be experiencing a similar situation to myself. I grew up in WA, all of my family and friends live there, but I moved to NSW with my partner in 2019 (his famil... View more

Hi all, I’m needing some encouragement at the moment... from anyone who can help or who may be experiencing a similar situation to myself. I grew up in WA, all of my family and friends live there, but I moved to NSW with my partner in 2019 (his family are in NSW). Because of COVID I’ve only just been able to come back to WA and visit my family after nearly 1.5 years. This has been incredibly hard for me, as I’m very close with my parents/sibling, and I feel heartbroken to see my nephews growing up so quickly and I feel like I am missing out on so much.. I’m feeling incredibly anxious about going back to NSW after my holiday in WA ends in 2 weeks. I feel guilty for leaving my family again, I’m scared that something will happen to them and I worry that I will regret having ever moved away. I’m particularly stressed about covid’s border closures with my grandparents being old, and am worried that if something were to happen to them that I may not be able to get home again. On top of this im finding it so hard to manage my time in WA. I feel there are so many people I should be catching up with, including my best friend. But I feel all I want to do is be with my parents, my brother and my nephews. I don’t want to disappoint others but I feel so anxious about spending time out with friends at the expense of precious time with my family who I have missed so so much.. I feel even more guilty complaining of this as I know so many other people have it worse off than me, like people with family overseas. But this is my experience and what I’m feeling. I feel so anxious, worried and sad about leaving again before I’ve even allowed myself time to enjoy being here... it’s making me question why I moved in the first place. But I am studying and hoping to get a new career, but it does make you question whether all of this “bettering yourself” is really worth it if you have to do it away from the people you love most..

Tonyl relationship advice needed Pre menopausal wife married couple in 40s
  • replies: 6

Hi all i am chasing some genuine advice from people who have been in a similar situation. there is not a lot of reading and advice out there about Pre Menopause and how partners can cope with the side effects of this- my partner is in the early stage... View more

Hi all i am chasing some genuine advice from people who have been in a similar situation. there is not a lot of reading and advice out there about Pre Menopause and how partners can cope with the side effects of this- my partner is in the early stages we have both noticed the changes. massive mood swings, irritability, the infrequent periods- complete loss of sex drive etc- all the tell tail signs. As a husband i am trying to be supportive and loving as much as i can. However the aggression and snapping becomes too much sometimes, and i am generally struggling. i read a lot about how the divorce rates are the highest in this bracket. i can really understand the pressures , however i really dont want to end up another statistic. any advice would be helpful - id also love to hear your story's

doctorwho parents separating
  • replies: 7

so I heard not long ago that my parents are separating, I was initially really upset about it and I am still a bit sad about it. the thing I don't understand though is that they have already both moved on so quickly, by that I mean trying to pursue s... View more

so I heard not long ago that my parents are separating, I was initially really upset about it and I am still a bit sad about it. the thing I don't understand though is that they have already both moved on so quickly, by that I mean trying to pursue something with other people. is this weird? I sort of found it weird? they are not even divorced yet. what do you think? would love to hear your thoughts below

FridayNext Does she love me anymore
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, This is a little weird for me as I've never done this before and it is a tad overwhelming but I feel I've got nowhere else to turn and I just need help.... I'm in a happy and loving marriage and have been for the past 10 years. Well that... View more

Hi everyone, This is a little weird for me as I've never done this before and it is a tad overwhelming but I feel I've got nowhere else to turn and I just need help.... I'm in a happy and loving marriage and have been for the past 10 years. Well that is until about 1 year ago when things just started to exist. Passing one another in the corridor and making room for the other but the affection and intimacy has gone. It's almost like being roommates. There's no animosity or dislike it's just like my wife and I share a room. I've tried taking about it but I'm usually met with the "tired" reasoning and put off conversations. Now I find cannot talk about it anymore. I'm told that it's just a phase and that there are others with bigger problems and that this should put things into perspective. I just exist and this is starting to eat away at me. I find myself thinking that it must be my fault, that I'm unlovable or even likeable. That I haven't tried enough. I haven't many friends. In fact I could honestly say there is only one. She has been a great support to me but now I'm very conscious that she needs to get on with her life and I don't want to bother her with my problems. I feel I'm becoming a burden to those around me. I'm becoming withdrawn. I'm either angry or sad or frustrated all the time. I've got no more supports and I'm starting to crumble. Colleagues at work are noticing, despite putting on a face of normality everyday. I'm tired. I don't sleep. I just need help. I'm losing hope. I'm just losing and can't see a way out

Jess1114 How to support someone via long distance - my marriage is in trouble
  • replies: 2

My husband is currently in Perth while I am in Victoria. He has been there for eight weeks and with all of the issues around Covid I have not been able to visit him at all. Being in such a tough situation we have both been depressed, and have now hit... View more

My husband is currently in Perth while I am in Victoria. He has been there for eight weeks and with all of the issues around Covid I have not been able to visit him at all. Being in such a tough situation we have both been depressed, and have now hit a snag in the relationship. He is in a bad place mentally, and does not have any support around him. What is worse is that I am not sure he realises how deep of a depression he is in. I am trying to remain a beacon of light to guide him through the darkness, but he is pushing me away and I find that very hard to take sometimes. Overall what I am looking for, is some advice on how to deal with him in his depressed state, how I can support him and get through to him. We are seeing a couples counsellor online, due to have our second session next week. So in the meantime, I am doing my best but am interested to hear from others.

HelloMyNameIsDale Alienating people closest to me
  • replies: 10

I am feeling more and more distant from people who used to be my closest people. I am growing cynical of them and trust that but it's also super harmful for these friends and family. I know they arent kind people but it is scary to lose them and I am... View more

I am feeling more and more distant from people who used to be my closest people. I am growing cynical of them and trust that but it's also super harmful for these friends and family. I know they arent kind people but it is scary to lose them and I am the one initiating the questioning of relationship and it's been going to shit and I'm feeling like now I have no one.. can I be comfortable with being around unkind and non supportive people? I know this is a better solution rather than cutting them out. Please help

Von is lost Am I doing something wrong?
  • replies: 8

I realised that I have been single for four years today, with lots of failed relationship attempts in between. I’m almost turning 26 as well, and am starting to get a bit panicky about being single for so long. It’s not that I hate being single, it j... View more

I realised that I have been single for four years today, with lots of failed relationship attempts in between. I’m almost turning 26 as well, and am starting to get a bit panicky about being single for so long. It’s not that I hate being single, it just baffles me that I haven’t even gotten close to having a relationship in that timeframe. It makes me wonder if I’m giving off weird vibes or doing something wrong or looking in the wrong places for the wrong type of people to date. And that this will cause me to be single for a long long time, and therefore limiting the kind of life I eventually want for myself (kids, family etc.) But I don’t know what to change. I’m finding it hard to stay positive about dating and trusting the timing of things.

gympiegirlq Dealing with a selfish ex of partner, is it worth the stress?
  • replies: 2

My partners ex had several affairs before they split in 2006. She told him after they had children she didnt feel attractive and if she was able to get attention from other men it would enhance their relationship as her confidence would be restored. ... View more

My partners ex had several affairs before they split in 2006. She told him after they had children she didnt feel attractive and if she was able to get attention from other men it would enhance their relationship as her confidence would be restored. Of course it wasnt. She fell for one guy and thought theyd both leave their spouses for each other and it didnt pan out. She then booted my partner out with the excuse of it was just for a few months and he could move back. Of course it wasnt. She received 85% of their assets house car etc. We eventually got together and had the kids 5 nights a fortnight. Good routine, all settled. Then we wouldnt have the kids at a moments notice so she could go out as we had other commitments that night so she got the kids to help drag out the remaining items of furniture that belonged to my partner and set fire to them on the front lawn and posted video on facebook. Then she got a new bf and moved towns without any consultation. He now sees his kids 2 nights a fortnight if she doesnt change it to 1 randomly. She has told the kids she never loved their Dad only used him to have kids which upset my partner as she had once said the same to his face in anger. He never wanted kids or marriage but yet he loved her so much he gave her both but it wasnt enough. She drops the kids off when we arent here even when we've arranged work hours around her times. She has now said she wants her life back and will be dropping the kids off for half school holidays each year amd wont be home if we try to take them back. She gets child support, family benefit and her wages. My partner only has his wages to live on and pay bills etc. We cant afford vacation care and cant take 6 weeks holidays. She thrives on knifing him constantly yet the divorce etc was her idea. He takes everything bitter twisted thing she does and does nothing. He cant afford to go to family court. Im now unsure if I can mentally handle another 10 years of this (their youngest is 8). My kids have grown.

Speaker_glass Raising Children in Blended Families
  • replies: 1

A safe place for parents to discuss difficulties in a blended family. Nuclear families are very common these days. How do you make it work? What are the dynamics? What happens when they become teenagers? (especially when they play parents against eac... View more

A safe place for parents to discuss difficulties in a blended family. Nuclear families are very common these days. How do you make it work? What are the dynamics? What happens when they become teenagers? (especially when they play parents against each other). Blending a family is difficult enough, but when the ‘other’ parents don’t make it a positive experience they set it up to fail from the beginning! What do you do to stop this? how much stress do you feel? Feel like you’ve tried everything and read every book possible? Feel exhausted from taking on someone else’s kids? Probably even more so if you care for them for more time than the Bio parent. what about the youngest child? Are they still the youngest child? And how do they cope if they are no longer the youngest. Have an older child or two now? they both used to be the eldest and now they fight for prime position. My family; I separated from my children’s dad in 2015. In 2016 my new partner and I moved in together. He has two boys currently aged 11 and 14. I have two children, boy age 12 and girl 7. my daughter was 2 when we moved in together so she wouldn’t have it any other way. my children’s dad lives 1 hr away and sees them every second weekend and half of holidays. My step sons are with us 50/50. Their Mum lives 10 min away. As of 2 years ago, all of our children attend the same school, that has been great! however at the start of this time when my step son started high school (prep-12) it became a difficult place to be and today I feel it could come to an end. I’m exhausted, I’m angry, and I’m not even sure it’s at my step son. Maybe my husband somewhat for not handling it better and definitely his bio mum because of the manipulation! I’m also heading down the barrel of court again ( for the 3rd time) with my ex. It just doesn’t end. would love to hear of anyone is going through a difficult time with the eldest teenager in their blended family. What did you do and how? This road is the toughest I have ever been down. I have no family support. My closest friend has just moved interstate to flee a DV situation (she was also in a blended family). I feel there is no way out, no easy way to make it easier. I don’t want out. I just don’t want the conflict.

lifeisbutadream Ghosted (cheating?) boyfriend moved on. Feeling incredible pain and struggling to cope, seeking advice.
  • replies: 10

Hi there everyone, I've posted about this relationship before but...sadly what has come to pass I never saw coming. My ex-boyfriend had depression, characterised by episodes of withdrawing and isolation. In our relationship he had 2 episodes like thi... View more

Hi there everyone, I've posted about this relationship before but...sadly what has come to pass I never saw coming. My ex-boyfriend had depression, characterised by episodes of withdrawing and isolation. In our relationship he had 2 episodes like this, in the first he ended up communicating that he had felt lost in a dark place and was unable to cope, but had sought help and was in a better place emotionally. Just over a month ago, his communication started to drop off and he echoed these thoughts (ie having a hard time, feeling trapped inside his thoughts etc) and I encouraged him to seek help, including referring him to here and his GP. He replied with how much he loved me, and wanted to get better so we could be together...And then nothing. I didn't hear from him for a month (I still haven't). During this time I had exams to focus on, so I just sent a few encouraging texts every few weeks or so, so as to not overwhelm him but just let him know I was there. It was very hard but I always remembered the good times, and used that to push me forward. I also figured it was because of his depression causing him to isolate. We had also made plans together that obviously fell apart. Something in my gut told me yesterday (Valentine's Day) to search his social media, and I discovered he is now public with a new girlfriend. I quickly blocked him and I'm thinking of entirely deleting my social media for sometime. I just feel the most incredible deep and pervasive pain. I feel like I only ever treated him with honesty, support and care only to be completely discarded and ultimately betrayed in the most callous and cruel way. Even at this point, I haven't even so much received a "hey, this isn't working out" text or anything...at all. Our relationship had rocky points, but I never even suspected he was interested in seeing other people and I'm completely blindsided by this....even if he had broken up with me to be public so soon (1 month!!) with a new girl is just so hurtful. I just don't know how to cope with this pain because it all just feels so inconceivable and immense. I never knew he was capable of such cruelty and it seems so unlike him to do this. To think the whole time I was so worried about him and reading about depression, doing the best I could to support him and he was moving on with someone else makes me sick to my stomach. I have so many questions...did he ever think of my feelings at all? I would just really appreciate any input.