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Lonely 😔

Community Member
I find it so hard to make friends. Im 30 and im single and alone. Weekends are hard because my 2 kids go to their father's and then its just me at home. Im so shy and i have been diagnosed with severe social aniexty along with other mental illnesses. I guess i just wish i could find a friend who gets me and i get them
3 Replies 3

Community Member

I am in the same situation. My kids go to their dads every second weekend and half of every holidays.

Any friends that I do have, have kids if their own and are married and are busy with their family stuff, so I sit at home alone with no-one when my girls are with their dad.

I watch people, having a happy life, friends etc, while I sit alone feeling so desperately lonely.

I just wanted to say, I know how you feel, I also have social anxiety, and a huge amount of issues going on in my life.

But imagine how us dads feel , if we're lucky we might see our kids on the weekend or once or twice a week.

But here's the good news for you. When my daughter turned 15 she stopped coming as much. She had a nf and a whole new circle of friends in her town which was 20mins away from mine and although they all use to stay at mine on wlends when they were younger, at 15, they wanted to get out there and start being teens.

And l wanted that for her too ,it's only natural and a healthy part of growing up and independence , buttt , for the first time in 4yrs ,l was alone on wkends.and l missed her so much and we were only catching up a night or two a week.

Until the canceller said to me welllll , do you realize you now finally have some free weekends , for the first time since it all started, You haven't been able to do anything for yourslf in 4years , but now if you look on the bright side, you can start living a little for you too now.

Well , yaknow , it still upsets me , she's 16 now, new bf and friends and still in her town 20mins over from mine.

sometimes we catch up on one day of a wkend but l try to sirt that out later in the week so that if we aren't gonna see each other , l can do something for me.

So then l met someone and we'd been together nearly 2yrs but sadly now , that can not work out , but on the upside , l had the time of my life.

Well , since then , l try to at least do something for me on one day of the weekend. Today l went to the beach. other times my d and me might do something one day on a wkend and l try to do something for me on the other.

So it's not all bad , you could start finding things that interest you for the wkends and start think of you and your life a little too.

Yaknow , it's sorta got a positive spin.

Community Member

Hi Starkles86,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Sorry to read what you are going through. Friends is always such a tough topic and it comes up quite regularly which is not great but it is a problem. I don't have many friends either but one thing I would suggest is finding a new hobby or something that interests you, could be a sport, a book club, anything but it is a good way to meet new people, I understand you have been diagnosed with severe social anxiety which is always tough to meet new people with that as well, after being diagnosed were you having counselling to help overcome this at all?

May I also suggest trying to the BB Café out on these forums, it is a place where people who suffer from a variety of mental illness just talk about day to day stuff as friends, no talk of mental health takes place in that part of the forums. May be a way to meet some new people, albeit online but is a good start.

My best for you,