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Lonely and unwanted...
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11-06-2019
03:08 PM
Like others here, I find myself in a marriage devoid of any sort of love, attention, or affection.
My wife has lost all interest in me and I have no idea why or what to do about it. A total lack of affection or attention towards me has left me feeling desperately lonely and with a constant feeling of rejection and depression.
I honestly don't remember the last time she cuddled up to me just because she wanted to be close to me. It would have been a couple of years ago at least... On my birthday or our anniversary she'll always post some "lovey dovey" message on facebook where anyone who read it, would think we were teenagers in love, however the reality at home is vastly different where I'm lucky if I get a passing cuddle.
I often try to cuddle up to her in bed but when I do, she either totally ignores me like I'm just not there, or she pushes me away almost like she can't bare for me to touch her anymore... A cuddle while she's cooking in the kitchen or laying on the couch results in her either walking away, or just totally ignoring me. Never will she just cuddle me back.
We still have sex, probably every couple of weeks on average, but I know shes just letting me out of a feeling of "duty". The last time she initiated having sex was probably 5 years ago. When we do have sex, it's always something I initiate.
I help out around the home and always make sure she knows shes appreciated. Sometimes I pick some flowers out of the garden or take her out for a romantic dinner or give her a back rub while laying in bed, stuff she used to enjoy and appreciate, but nothing seems to have any effect anymore. I've even tried giving her space, almost to the point of staying well clear of her for a few weeks like a kind of a "let's see how you like it" kind of a thing, but in all honesty, I think she enjoys the separation.
I still love her and don't want to leave her but it's left me desperately wanting to feel the love and attention she once gave me. I'm almost at the stage where I feel like looking elsewhere to find the attention and affection that I so badly desire. It's not that I want someone else, or that I want to cheat on her, but I am desperate to find some love and affection again and feel the touch of a woman who wants to be with me.
I feel kind of stupid posting on here because I know there are many people doing it a lot tougher than I am. However, this feeling of desperate loneliness is starting to have an effect on my daily life. How do others cope???
My wife has lost all interest in me and I have no idea why or what to do about it. A total lack of affection or attention towards me has left me feeling desperately lonely and with a constant feeling of rejection and depression.
I honestly don't remember the last time she cuddled up to me just because she wanted to be close to me. It would have been a couple of years ago at least... On my birthday or our anniversary she'll always post some "lovey dovey" message on facebook where anyone who read it, would think we were teenagers in love, however the reality at home is vastly different where I'm lucky if I get a passing cuddle.
I often try to cuddle up to her in bed but when I do, she either totally ignores me like I'm just not there, or she pushes me away almost like she can't bare for me to touch her anymore... A cuddle while she's cooking in the kitchen or laying on the couch results in her either walking away, or just totally ignoring me. Never will she just cuddle me back.
We still have sex, probably every couple of weeks on average, but I know shes just letting me out of a feeling of "duty". The last time she initiated having sex was probably 5 years ago. When we do have sex, it's always something I initiate.
I help out around the home and always make sure she knows shes appreciated. Sometimes I pick some flowers out of the garden or take her out for a romantic dinner or give her a back rub while laying in bed, stuff she used to enjoy and appreciate, but nothing seems to have any effect anymore. I've even tried giving her space, almost to the point of staying well clear of her for a few weeks like a kind of a "let's see how you like it" kind of a thing, but in all honesty, I think she enjoys the separation.
I still love her and don't want to leave her but it's left me desperately wanting to feel the love and attention she once gave me. I'm almost at the stage where I feel like looking elsewhere to find the attention and affection that I so badly desire. It's not that I want someone else, or that I want to cheat on her, but I am desperate to find some love and affection again and feel the touch of a woman who wants to be with me.
I feel kind of stupid posting on here because I know there are many people doing it a lot tougher than I am. However, this feeling of desperate loneliness is starting to have an effect on my daily life. How do others cope???
12 Replies 12
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25-06-2019
10:33 PM
Hi Jimmy.
l feel really bad bringing this up and l know it is truly a sickening thought, l do. But have you snooped through her phone or emails or fb if she does it , or any other online stuff . As l say l am truly sorry to suggest it , but l think it's best you do. Hopefully you find nothing and you probably will, but really , best if you just check things like that out.
Good luck with everything though.
rx
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26-06-2019
02:41 AM
Bipolar 1 & 2 are clinically definitive evident (when symptoms are unquestionable re:quality of life impact)..... I hope she doesn’t have it.
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27-06-2019
12:02 PM
Hi Randomx,
I'm assuming you mean to see if she's cheating on me, and don't worry, others have suggested the same thing.
I honestly don't think she is. I work from home and until recently she has been a stay at home mum. She simply doesn't spend enough time away from me for anything else to be going on behind my back. She's not much of a social person either so it's not like she's "out with the girls" or anything like that where the opportunity may present itself.
I know it sounds horrible but sometimes I've though I almost wish I did catch her out cheating. At least then I would know what the issue is and I could do something about the situation.
As it is now, I feel she is over me but hangs around for the financial stability. I don't know how to get past that?
Hayds, I hope she doesn't either but the signs are there and so is the family history. The fact that she is in denial simply means that she won't see anyone who can confirm/diagnose it professionally.
I'm assuming you mean to see if she's cheating on me, and don't worry, others have suggested the same thing.
I honestly don't think she is. I work from home and until recently she has been a stay at home mum. She simply doesn't spend enough time away from me for anything else to be going on behind my back. She's not much of a social person either so it's not like she's "out with the girls" or anything like that where the opportunity may present itself.
I know it sounds horrible but sometimes I've though I almost wish I did catch her out cheating. At least then I would know what the issue is and I could do something about the situation.
As it is now, I feel she is over me but hangs around for the financial stability. I don't know how to get past that?
Hayds, I hope she doesn't either but the signs are there and so is the family history. The fact that she is in denial simply means that she won't see anyone who can confirm/diagnose it professionally.
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