Loneliness... What choices are there?

[demonblaster]

Loneliness is one of the cruelest underestimated places to be in life. Most of us need people.

This is all too common & wayyyy too many suffer this.

What's out there to help people?

Forums is a good place for many that are shy or depressed and not comfortable face on.

Excercising outside, amongst people, eye contact often connects a smile with people. Lifting

Here & assuming other places in Oz there's through community centres volunteers that visit, take shopping, talk, listen etc or phone calls weekly. (GP would know more)

Public transporting, around people, even if not engaged in convo, still amongst it

Interested hearing suggests

This shouldn't be

[Guest_1584]

Hi all.

l'm sorry about everyones sitch and l'm glad you got that out too grandy but the weird thing is , lotta people living the same , shame they can't meet somehow.

Damn shame this whole club wasn't in a hall instead , real, but it does help.

lf l'm running rightand l'm pretty good again lately then l'm not usually a shy person and talk to people pretty easily. l get out a lot too and these days don't have any problems with getting out to wherever l want but there were periods l couldn't.

l acn also chit chat as l go to whoever like shops and stuff, business , l like getting out and about again now because l live on my own and don't have many coming and going. The other thing though is if l didn't at least make an effort it could go a week even two without being round people so l sorta got no choice really.

But yeah , l think a lot of people would hear grandy on the daily drudgery , wish l didn't get hungry all the time making food bores me to tears , and 3 times a day, wth can't we just live on one a day, huh ? Do like eating though but not my own , can't cook don't wanna cook can't be bothered cooking especially alone.

Cereals greta , into a bowl, some fruit and milk , yum , easy, tastes great.

Any little bit of chit chat with people out and about does help help a bit for sure but it's the real deal l'm really missing since l split with gf. But then most of the problems in my life have been through women so do ya really wanna go there again anyway , yaknow. But most of the best times in life have been through women too soooooo, tis the price it seems doesn't it.

l can see now after being divorced and getting on my feet , l could build a totally hassle free and easy life for myself in time , getting there now. lsn't it weird though and a shyt too , that for some crazy reason , even after all the stress , we want more.

[Peacelily]

Hi everyone,

I find these posts interesting and sad at the same time. Humans are evolved to be social beings and thats how we function best. Having connections with family, partners, friends, work colleagues etc provides support and makes us strive for goals. Particularly in our cities, the population is growing rapidly...ironically so is the number of people feeling lonely.

I'm very grateful for the support and advice given here like things I can do on my own to improve health and wellbeing. At the same time I can relate to why loneliness is so miserable. This loops back to what I was saying about us being social beings...social beings who are disconnected from society can lead to loneliness and depression. The internet may help with virtual connections in any corner of world but I don't feel it's the same as having physical contact - seeing someone's facial reaction across the table or hearing hearing them laugh or a hug...our senses come alive in so many ways.

I don't like crowds so I'm not suggesting anyone throw themselves into a mosh pit for the physical experience either. I do believe we all crave and need to have meaningful relationships. Easier said than done but I'm not giving up working on that. I know for a fact that being connected to society helps with mental illness - been told by enough psychologists in this lifetime.

Small steps help if you're starting. Others have posted about being in shopping centres and swimming...things you can do alone but still places you amongst other humans. On lousy days when I cant deal with the world I would make an effort with having the telly on as background noise.

It's a difficult journey for anyone with mental illness. This site at the very least proves we're not alone with our conditions. People who haven't been through it may find it hard to comprehend. I try not to give them the evil stare when they give me the "snap out of it" comment. Instead I send them good wishes and hope they never have to go through the rough days I have experienced.

To you all here, I pray that you stay strong and one day find a light at the end of the tunnel xx

[demonblaster]

Hi ☺ Peacelilly welcome & thankyou for your insightful post. Lovely name. Gives a feeling of peace reading it

I think too most of us need eachother and interesting that you said about MI showing improvement with people contact.

Good for you not giving up on venturing out.

Lol mosh pit.

All very best to you Peacelilly

TV in background for company.

Radio on for company too

Inviting neighbour/s in for cuppa

Churches do outings from time to time I think?

[Scotty2013]

Thats true, our dep anxiety doesn't help, although I sometimes love being home. Sorry for the late reply I keep forgetting to get back here lol.

[smallwolf]

These are good ideas. I was actually given a fun activities sheet from my psych. It is actually 3 pages and about 300 items to consider. My psych wants me to pick out activities which I might consider fun. A second document was for accomplishments. The intention is to be able to cope with the loneliness of working from home. The next time I go to see the psych will have to show her what I have selected. Together (my understanding) these will scheduled into my life. Not sure how but will find out. Some ideas I selected included dancing, writing poetry, swimming. I asked my wife to help, and selected cooking classes among other things. I also picked introducing self and talking to neighbours. Now these items might not be your cup of tea, but for me are intentional ways of getting out. Note that I am loathe to say "try this" because what I might like, you might hate, etc. These sorts of things are quite subjective.

Of course, the loneliness (makes me) reflective and feeds into the worry and anxiety and depression. And then becomes a spiral.

It was just a coincidence that I recognised my loneliness in the same week as my psych presented these sheets to me. Reintroducing myself to the world is both scary and exciting at the same time.

Anyway they are some other ideas to add to the mix.

SM

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone,

I need a giant group hug, if anyone is needing one as well.lets all join in... but gently does it..{{{{{{{GROUP HUGS}}}}}}}.

[demonblaster]

☺ hi all

Thats ok Scotty thanks for calling in. Yes anxiety certainly would be a blocker for many. Good news is many people have managed to overcome anxiety. In

forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies

Dr Kim here who explains things very well talks about panic attacks and the Amygdala part of our brain kicking in on page 15 on 6th post down in Ask Dr Kim thread in above section or search for Ask Dr Kim here and theres apart from good response she gave a good short video on 6 pillars to self esteem which I imagine could be of help to anxiety sufferers

tc (take care

[demonblaster]

Hey Random and all

Yeah ditto I'm not shy either so easier for us and same chat to anyone but have been shy on rare occassions its awful think main problem is feeling self concious which in time with help and self belief liking ourselves more can help.

Cooking ditto does little for me too but do on occassion.

I think you hit on a valud point, we do overall Im learning with depression is need to push through and as said "not do what depression wants us to" so if our minds are saying stay home 24/7 at least on occassion if we do opposite and even go down St and look at shops being amongst people.

Always enjoy reading your posts Random thanks for input ☺

[demonblaster]

smallwolf said:

"I was given fun activities sheet from my psych. It is actually 3 pages and about 300 items to consider. My psych wants me to pick out activities which I might consider fun. A second document was for accomplishments. The intention is to be able to cope with the loneliness of working from home. Together (my understanding) these will scheduled into my life.

Some ideas I selected included dancing, writing poetry, swimming. I asked my wife to help, and selected cooking classes among other things. I also picked introducing self and talking to neighbours. Now these items might not be your cup of tea, but for me are intentional ways of getting out.

Of course, the loneliness (makes me) reflective and feeds into the worry and anxiety and depression. And then becomes a spiral.

Anyway they are some other ideas to add to the mix"

Thanks Smallwolf great post. Interesting ideas and ways of helping with loneliness.

I've highlighted for obvious reasons as well its easier for when I recap.

Grandy group hug sounds great Im in xx

[Ggrand]

A lonely tear.

A lonely tear,

falls down my face,

letting out some fear,

for agains a day that I must face,

just me with no one near,

Is this the price,

that I must pay,

Each and everyday,

alone and sad I will stay,

For this will be another day,

That a lonely tear,

falls down my face,

There's no-one near,

to see this tear,

thats falling down my face.

Grandy.